My wife and I have been married for 5 years but we are having issues. The issues stem from the alot of things which I cannot even begin to describe but let me try.
My wife does not care or know about certain things that make a home or marriage successful. And for me,I don’t want us to have house helps cos my sister and I were abused by different house helps growing up.
My wife cannot maintain a clean environment for a whole day. So,I try to help with the cleaning. Strange for a guy to do right…but so I wont be quarreling,I clean. But she will in turn mess up the place soon as she steps into the house. I have spoken severally to her and she says I take things too serious.
Secondly,my wife cannot cook. I did not marry her to cook though. I knew when I was dating her that she could only make noodles. But I been trying to teach her to make basic meals just in case I am not around. But she has refused to learn,basically very laid back cos she knows I will cook.
Finally,the one that pisses me off: her attitude to raising our kids. I think she prefers her career more than raising her kids. To the extent that even when she is at home,she is on her phone instead of spending time with the kids.
I reluctantly got a lesson Teacher for our kids that were under 5 years just so they can help with home work.My wife will never do homework. Always busy. She does not attend any PTA or school related activities. The school always calls me when there is an issues instead of her being the mother.
Sometimes,I blame myself for being liberal with her. I met her and knew her limitations but I was hoping that love and with time,she would appreciate some of the things she missed out on. Recently,I had to come back home late because I am on a special project at work. When I get home,the house is upside down,the kids have not been fed properly,its either biscuits or noodles.
To bring out stew from the fridge and warm is a herculean task for her. Our laundry is picked up and done by a vendor. There is practically nothing she needs to do but show that she loves her home the way she says she does.
I don’t know if I have been able to make myself clear but I look at her and her non nonchalant attitude and I get really frustrated. I have tried speaking to her mom and her friends. They all say I should be patient with her. I am really frustrated. Please advise me.