Saturday, December 7, 2019
Home Advice I Love My Wife But Another Woman Has Brought Me Joy!

I Love My Wife But Another Woman Has Brought Me Joy!

I need advise. I have been married for six years to my girlfriend of 4(that is 10 years being together).We had dreams and aspirations when we got married but things have turned out different for us. We have not been able to have a baby. We have tried everything but it has not worked so far.

This situation has put a strain on my marriage. I find myself working late most times,drowning myself in work so as not to think about the situation or face my wife who have become so gloomy because of this.

This led me to my mistake. I slept with a co-worker. Working late one day,both of us left the office around 10.25pm. I tried to drop her close to where she would get a Taxi but on getting there,no Taxi or any means of transportation.

I had to take her home eventually. She kissed me when we got to her place and for some reason,my lust took over and  I slept with her. She is a single woman living by herself. I thought this was a mistake but I find myself continually having an affair with this colleague of mine.

The more I spent time with her,the more I wanted to be with her. She seemed to get me. I tell her anything. She is a very good adviser and listener. Makes me feel wanted and respected. I know this wrong and I pray to God to give me strength to stop this.

This lady am seeing is now pregnant for me. I was elated. At last,I am going to be a father. I promised to take care of her but she said she will not keep the baby if I do not marry her. Now,I cannot marry her even though I love her because I am still married to my wife.

Also Read >>  When Is Abortion Allowed Or Is This A Sign From God?

Divorcing my wife will look like I left her cos she is childless. I am not kind of person. I tried to explain to this lady but she does not want to listen. What do I do? She has threatened to abort the baby cos she cannot be a baby ,mama.

What can I do please…should I divorce my wife and marry her or allow her go ahead with her threat and aborting the baby?..what if this is the only baby God has destined me to be?

With the way my wife is already sad and depressed about this childlessness,calling for a divorce will break her heart. I still love her despite all and I do not want to hurt her.

Another option I am thinking about is,maybe I can wed this lady traditionally. At least that is legal. But if my wife found out,it will still break her heart. I do not know why God has not blessed us with children,if not…I would have never slept with another woman.

While we were dating,my wife(then fiancee) got pregnant twice and twice we had abortions cos we were not ready. Could God be punishing us for that?Its been six years,even almost seven years but no issue.

I am genuinely confused. I warned this lady that if she goes and get an abortion without my approval,that I will sue her. She then said if I sue her,my wife will know about the pregnancy which I do not want.

I need advise.

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

6 COMMENTS

  1. Hi,

    When there is a delay in child bearing,couples are supposed to stick together,join their faith and trust God to give them victory in the end. The fact that your wife is sad and depressed should have made you do everything possible for her to be happy.

    Its not her fault that there is no baby yet. God is the one that gives children and He will give you yours in due time. Your wife needs you to encourage her and stand by her until that time comes.

    But now,you have abandoned her. You too,maybe feeling sad but you both have to pick yourselves up and keep fighting the fight of faith.

    That side chick can do whatever she likes with the baby. Do not break your marriage because of the mistake you made by fathering a child outside wedlock. Stick by your wife. God will bless you with children.

    And if the side chick decides to keep the baby,let your wife know so she can be aware. She might even love the baby as her own after the feeling of hurt passes.

    Do not divorce your wife for a side chick. She is a home wrecker. She knows you are married,childless and still slept with you…what was her aim? her aim was just to snatch you for herself and now,you are falling into her trap.

    Do not let her blackmail you. Tell your wife yourself.She will be hurt but if she loves you,she will try to forgive you after some time.

    Some persons may advise you to end your marriage and be with your side chick..please do not listen to them.

    God gave you a responsibility to be a husband to one wife..that is your legal wife…you made one mistake…do not make many more.

    God bless.

  2. You admitted that there were two abortions in the course of your courtship with your present wife.

    Well, having gone through the waiting process myself, i’ll tell you this much, you and your wife need to repent before God and you need to man up and face the music together. Its unfair that you risked her womb and now you want her to suffer the repercussions alone?

    Come on sir, be fair. Stand by your woman and forsake all others. A baby will come. There are loads of options out there: fertility treatments, surrogacy, adoption.

  3. Please please please, don’t divorce your wife because of a side chick, can you be that man enough to brace up and discuss this pregnancy issue with your wife, she may be of immense help to you.
    Don’t be a baby here.

  4. Great comments above. The mission of the side mama is to steal you, wreck you and kill you. Stick to your wife and ask God for forgiveness. Your own children will come in due time. God help you

  5. Don’t ever leave your wife for a side chick. Let the side chick do whatever she wants but don’t succumb to her threats. Your vow was to your wife not to a side chick. You think you love the side chick now just wait and get married to her to see the devil in her.

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