Good day Admin,
Please hide my ID. I am in a relationship with someone. We have been going strong for like six almost seven months. I like him a lot. He was introduced to me by a mutual friend. We attend the same worship place. He is also very committed and religious person.I like that about him. I prayed to God to give me someone who is spiritual. Has fear of God. So I was really happy with this guy’s level of spirituality.
When we started dating,I told him I wanted to wait until marriage before having s*x. He agreed. That made me respect him more. All was cool until the second month. By this time,I can safely say,I am in love with this guy. By the second month,I was talking to him on whatsapp when suddenly he sent me a picture of his manhood. I was shocked. I thought it was a mistake. I called him immediately after waiting for him for over 15 mins to say it was a mistake. He didn’t call. So I called him. He apologized profusely and said it was a mistake. I accepted his apology.
A week later,I was chatting with him. We were talking love talk and he said,his manhood is getting hard anytime he talks to me. I was again shocked. He asked me to take a picture of my breast and private parts and send to him. At this point,I sent him an sms to stop talking to me cos it was obvious, this was not a mistake anymore. I didn’t speak to him for three days. He kept calling but I didn’t pick. He sent several messages but I didn’t respond. He then asked our mutual friend to beg me. She did. I told her I cannot be with him if he continues,he promised not to do so again.So I forgave him.
All was well,until about two months later,he invited me to his place. I had been to his place like three times before now. He shares a three bedroom apartment with a friend. When I got there,his friend had some visitors,so we couldn’t get our privacy . He invited me to his room,I was hesitant but he was like,you mean you don’t trust me? I then obliged. In his room,I sat by the bed and we talked. He was a gentle man. He didn’t do anything wrong to upset me. But my eyes caught an x-rated magazine. Several of them really. I was shocked. I asked him what those were. He then told me that we needed to talk. He said that even though he i trying to honor God with his being celibate until marriage,that he has a huge appetite for s*x.
He said, he likes to watch porn to pleasure himself. It was then,I asked him if was seeing other girls cos I am not giving it to me. He said no but that he pleasures himself a lot with porn. He also told me he cant wait until we get married. That he would have s*x everyday with me. I appreciated his candidness but I left his house that day wondering if this guy is the right person for me. When I told our mutual friend,she said,I have nothing to worry that most guys like porn and that the fact that he is honest with me shows he likes and respects me.
I am not claiming to be a saint but should I be worried about this guy?Apart from his love for porn and things associated with that,he is a very good man. He listens to me,cares about me,he is prayerful (I wonder how someone is able to pray with the way he lives). This is going to be the sixth month of our relationship. I love this guy but I fear his addiction to porn might be a problem in future. I tried to talk to him one time,he said there is nothing wrong with what he is doing cos he is not doing it with anyone but himself. He also said if God didn’t want us to have those s*xual feelings,he wouldn’t have put them inside us.
Now and again,he teases me when we are chatting to send him nudes of myself. He likes to s*xt chat. I find that a turn on,I must confess. But I feel bad cos its feels like I am actually having the real thing which I don’t want to do. I tell him to stop but he keeps saying he cant help himself that is the only way he can not do the real thing. I don’t want to leave him cos I love him. I am 27 years old. I would love to get married before I am 30 and he is already saying we should start wedding plans by next year.
Am confused. Is this a big deal,is this a normal thing for guys? He is my second serious boyfriend. The first was a big mistake. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake. Should I be calm or leave him? He is not disturbing me for physical sx but I feel that soon with the rate of the sxting,he might get to that. Also,his addiction to porn is really disturbing me. Sometimes I call him and ask him what he is doing,he says: you know what already.
Please, I need your advice.
Photo Credit:VeryWell Mind