Sunday, August 2, 2020
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I Kept Myself For 34 years But My Marriage Lasted Only Wedding Night

I met Kunle on a whats-app group last year.We chatted for a few months. He told me he was based in Dubai as a business man. He also said he was looking for a woman to marry. He was not ready for games. He sounded like my kind of man. I didn’t believe him initially cos it sounded too good to be true. He spent quite a lot on me. He sent me gifts and money regularly. The first time we met in person after doing Skype and whats-app video calls for months was in May 2017. He proposed to me in a a popular five star hotel on Maryland (some of you may know the hotel). I was in total bliss…too much joy.

I met his parents who were living in Abeokuta after that. He met mine in Lagos here and we agreed that we should start planning the wedding so the next time he comes,it will be in August 2017. He of course sent the money for everything. He was always calling and all. My friend Joy was concerned that  I was rushing things but I didn’t listen cos I just didn’t want to think any thing negative. Besides,I already knew his parents. I practically visited his parents every weekend after he introduced me to them. They loved me. They were happy their son was getting married cos they had been on his case for so long. Kunle is 42 and this would be his first marriage.

We got married according to plan last August 2017. It was the happiest day of my life. It was such a beautiful day. My friends and family were all there. Everyone was happy for me and I was grateful to God. I had waited for my dream man. I kept myself. I was 34. It was hard but I am glad it paid off.

My problems started after our wedding night. We made love that night. He was my first and it was beautiful. In the morning,he got a call from Dubai. He was called for an important business call. He had to leave immediately as the international partners were expecting him in South Africa that evening. Sadly,we had to put our honeymoon plans on hold. He promised to send me a ticket to Maimi next weekend so we can start our honeymoon. I bade him goodbye and that was the last I heard of him. After a couple of hours,I thought he would have called,he didn’t. That day,he didn’t call. The next day he didn’t  call so I called him,I couldn’t connect.  I texted and emailed,no response. I then told his mom. she became very worried and everyone started to call him. No connection,no response. At that time,by the third day,we began to panic. We started a prayer vigil. We started trying to contact his friends in Dubai and the airports.

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No word from Kunle in two weeks!…I was beyond worried. I began to imagine the worst until I received that phone call. Kunle finally called two weeks later. He said he was sorry. He said”I am so sorry,but I cant do this”. ”Do what” I asked him? He said he is sorry but he misled me. He said he cannot marry me. At that point I dropped the call and fainted. When I recovered,I was in hospital. Kunle’s parents and mine were there. They were comforting me. I told them to explain why Kunle cannot marry me. It was then that I learnt that Kunle confessed that he has a woman whom he has been seeing for over seven years and they have two children in Dubai. According to him,they have been having issues so they separated for a while. That was when he met me. He thought he was moving on but clearly he is still in love with the lady. So now,he has gone back to her. Even though they are not married,he feels he cannot be without her. So Kunle wants me to annul our marriage. That is,to say,it never happened. He sent me the sum of N5million and asked for my forgiveness.

That was since September last year. I cannot begin to explain the trauma that I have been through. I have suffered depression and almost killed myself at one point. Kunle’s parents however do not want the marriage annulled. They say that I am Kunle’s legal wife seeing that the other lady is not married to him. But since then,Kunle has not come to see me. How do I remain married to someone who wants the marriage to be annulled? He is not even here with me? His parents want me to be patient that he will come to his senses. People are saying this is the work of juju. How long am I going to wait?

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Kunle sent me an email two months ago still asking for my forgiveness and urging me to move on. I gave my virginity to this man!! I made a fool of myself before the world by having a huge wedding…now he doesn’t want me cos of a woman whom he is not even married to? What am I going to do? I started reading lively stones in February. I just want to add my story to the many unbelievable stories we read here.

What will anyone advice someone like me? Should I follow what people are saying:which is,stay and fight for my marriage? Or do the sensible thing of actually going ahead and annul my marriage of only one day? I am going to be 35 a few days. I need to make a decision with what to do with my life. Please advise me and pray for me too.



Photo Credit:Optimized

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. My dear Brianna,

    Ok…this is truly one of the unbelievable cases we have received.

    But my dear,you are a strong woman. Since August last year!….

    Have you prayed about this?…spend real time to pray about this. God is not the author of confusion. Pray until God gives you a clear direction on what to do.

    My other advice is,if he is not speaking with you regularly,you need to start thinking of moving on. If he comes to his senses in future,you can decide if you still want him or not.

    Some religious folks will say no,wait and fight,yes…I believe in fighting for your marriage. But the marriage was just for a day and it was built under deceit. Clearly,this is not God’s plan for you.

    At the end of the day though,the decision to make is yours….let God guide you.Take a decision that gives you confidence that God has spoken. You may decide to wait it out for a year or two or three to see if he will indeed come around. If not dear,let him go.

    It is well.

    God strengthen you and give you wisdom to address this.

  2. Frankly, it would be foolish to hold on to a marriage with such a horrible start.

    For your sanity, & for your personal progress, quickly annul the marriage & speedily move on.

    If this guy is saying the truth or a lie about another lady, you cannot tell, & that would be a huge issue in your relationship with him if you ever get back to him.

    Avoid the mess all together & seize your emotions. Move on, dear. You’re much too precious to be kicked to the curb, dear Brianna…

  3. My dear at this point it hard to say a word but carefully follow ur heart and at the same time pray to God to gv u direction if not kunle another good guy will come I assure you.

  4. My dear sister I think the best you can do is to move on start up a new life maybe in a new location..

  5. Did u ask God abt it b4 saying u do?some guys r just helper they r nt destined husband.Maybe kunle is just an helper or bf bt u mistook him for hubby.Wat u nid now is God voice,direction on wat to do.Kunle @42 & uv nt for once think he wud av had a son or a dawter even if he is nt married.My dear move on with ur life & be prayerful.God will settle it.

  6. From what i know as a Christian, marriage under deceit can be annulled. Ask your pastor and he will confirm…..
    You can conveniently annul the marriage and move on but if you decide to wait for him, its your decision…..
    Stay strong!

  7. He deceived you and has made it clear that you should move on.

    This is where we listen to the voice of God before making decisions in life (i.e. yes to a prospective life partner), you were deceived so you are free before God to move on, remaining is to continue to torture yourself.

    Make a decision – Annul, Break free emotionally, believe that your future is bright – because it, wrap yourself in God and prepare to meet your true Prince Charming.

  8. I’m in shock and scared cos mine is like urs at d beginning but we are not married yet. I just hope he won’t come up with dis kind of excuse cos it’s killing. Is dis for real? Please this is not marriage. Just annul it and move on.

  9. Ohh my heart bleeds, my dear Briana God is the only answer to the storm in your life now, just hold on to him and keep believing him, he won’t let you down.

  10. Brianna, sincerely it is hard to comprehend ur pains but you need to move on. There was no marriage in the first place and it will not be with Kunle.

    He just tried to please his parents who are not in support of his relationship with the Dubai lady, unfortunately you are the scare goat.

    Be strong to move on. You will see real love again. Pray hard for God to perfect his miracle in your life. He will hear your prayers.. You are my model. Keeping yourself as chaste at 34 is a not small feat.

  11. My dear I will advise you to move on with your life, but be very prayerful. If you wait is never going to come back and if he does, his still going to repeat the same thing by leaving you which means each time kunle has problems with the so called woman he will come to you for that short moment when he needed someone to be with to be able to settle back with her. So my dear time wait for nobody since you are going to be 35 in few days please move on with your life if you ever think of menopause, And the trouble child birth gives at old age you will move on, come to think of it he has two kids already so why won’t you move on with your life but above all don’t Look at all man has kunle be closer to God than ever and he will lead your right.

  12. My Dear sister ……
    Please go back to GOD…He is Merciful….be strong and listen to Him…He will direct your paths..proverbs 3vs 5-6

  13. My dear Brianna, my heart reaches out to u.. Pls.. Move on with ur life, forgive kunle.. Age can’t be a barrier to your happiness.. Remember, everyone has her time, while some married at d age of 22, some 25, some 30, some 40! Just do those things that gives u joy, and love will find u again.. Cheers

  14. Just return to God your Father in prayers
    “Our God is not an author of confusion” (1 Cor.14:33)
    hence hold this word before God as you ask him to clarify you on what to do next in a way you will understand as you submit to the Holy Spirit to guide and lead you from hence in every decision you take in life even those ones that seems you can do it by your human strength and smartness.
    Marriage contracted on “lies” is “invalid” before JESUS CHRIST because JESUS IS TRUTH hence any Christian covenant/institution/Sacrament “contacted” on “lies/deceit” is “INVALID”
    Always commune with the HOLY SPIRIT from hence thus “in him we live, move and have our existence/being” {Acts.17:28}

  15. Your story is very pathetic, I can feel your pains. It is heart wrenching but I want you to understand that God knows it all. You need to move on… Yes move on. Brace yourself up, you’re so beautiful and graciously made, you have a lot ahead of you. God will see you through.

  16. It is indeed a sad one. Our God is not dead. Be strong, be stouthearted and wait upon the Lord.
    We have different stories of marriages ending in unpleasant ways. May God be merciful.
    I will advise you to move on with your life

  17. Love is a dangerous game!!! However, it’s a conditioning process! I love my dog, I love my cat, and of course I love my man!!!
    You only condition yourself to love, or even to hate. But you can “de-condition”, detoxify your self of this man who does not deserve you.
    Find another means of keeping yourself happy! Ps move on! Don’t waste any precious time waiting; for who?

  18. Hmmm…for the coming back, he will but not until you’ve showed him u can leave without him. Advise yourself to move on, start process of the divorce and pray hard. Even though we are all here giving u advices,listen to your inner self. It’s always right and be courageous enough not to listen or hear what others may say about esp after such a big wedding. U will be fine and he will oneday oneday come n you will decide what u want to do with him. But sincerely don’t expect him now cos at the moment his mind is soooooo made up.

  19. My dear sorry ok i know how u are feeling. I was once in your shoes. It was not easy but i entreat u to forge ahead and pray for God’s guidance. He will show u the way. Am happily married now by his grace.i believe he will do it for u too. Be strong

  20. D best thing is to move On and besides he already had kids,and u can relocate from ur environment to get over the emotional trauma, God is there for you.

  21. Wow this is almost unreal but it happened. You need to let go girl. Pull yourself up and heal, the world will not wait for you. Travel and heal your body, soul and spirit. Hugs.

  22. My sister, is not easy but be strong and pray for God guidance. I know love will find u again…so disheartening dear but u need to move on.

  23. Why is everybody casting the man as the bad guy here ? nobody is mentioning the five million naira he settled her with , she can just move on with her life. Some guys may do this without giving a dine to the lady .


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