Friday, October 18, 2019
Home Advice I Have Been Heartbroken Too Many Times: I Need advice!

I Have Been Heartbroken Too Many Times: I Need advice!

Editor’s Note:

 A member of our whastapp group is asking the questions below for her friend. Her friend is in a dilemma and needs the best and objective advice from members of our platform. She will be reading to sample all your opinions. Please help a sister find love and happiness or even avoid a mistake.



Hello Jzhane,

I’ve been through one failed relationship to the other. I’ve been depressed and sad for a while now. Currently at 32 years, someone wants to ask for my hand in marriage. But there’s an issue.

  1. He’s Twelve years older than her.

  2. He’s a divorcee.

  3. Lives abroad.

  4. He’s somebody the family knows.

Am I making the right decision?




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  1. Hello dear,

    I can understand why your friend is hesitant….being sad and depressed after a few failed relationships can make someone become fearful of trying to find love again.

    This is my advice:

    1. He is 12 years older: Find out his kind of person. Is he a liberal,age is just a number kind of guy or he is the type that will demand respect cos of his age? If he is the former,you are good to go but if the later,….emmm hold your brakes

    2.He is a divorcee: Find out why he is divorced? Was he the cause? Is he remorseful,…did he learn any lessons from the divorce? Does he have children from his first marriage? How does he relate with his ex wife and kids? Are you ready to be a step mom?Can you handle potential drama from a blended family?

    Its not that difficult but if you are the type of person that likes personal space,you may not be able to do it but if you are accommodating of others,then you can do this

    3.He lives abroad: You must join him for the marriage to work. I do not believe in abroad marriage where couples live on countries apart. It does not work 9 out of 10 times. So if he means business,let him start processing your travel documents before you say I do…not after…if he does it after,it will be story for the gods

    4.He’s somebody the family knows: Isn’t that a good thing? That means they can vouch for him or can tell you if he is a no no?…..I do not understand your major concern with this one…

    Are you making the right decision?….if you can answer the questions above very honestly,then you will be able to make the right decisions.

    Note: Marrying a divorcee is not bad,some people do better at their second chance at love but make sure all the mistakes from the past have been addressed and corrected first.

    Also,pray my dear. Tell God what you want. He knows your heart. He knows how fragile you are because of your past. Ask God to lead you and keep you from making a bad decision again.

    Try and develop friendship first with this man…see how it goes…see if you can be friends before lovers.

    Do not let fear stop you…even in marriage,sometimes you will feel hurt but you have to always pick yourself up and find things that make you happy and go on in life.

    No one can make you truly happy…your happiness is in your hands…choose to be happy…be decisive about it..

    Las las…you will be fine…God bless you.


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