Monday, May 18, 2020
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I Have A Weakness For My Ex: Will Marriage Help Me?

Post Anonymous. Jide (not real name) and I dated on and off for five years. I knew there were other ladies in his life. But every time he came back to me,I found out he treated me better than the other guys I was dating.

Lets just say: I left the door of my heart open to Jide. He came and left as he liked. My parents did not like that but no other better guy. Jide’s mom, a single mom loved me but she too could not influence her son to settle down.

Jide got admission to further his education abroad. Three month before he left,I got pregnant. That did not change anything. Jide left and almost 7 months later,I had twins baby girls. Jide’s mother was supportive. Jide called a few times. Not too long I was seeing Jide post pictures of his new woman on social media.

So yes, I am a single mother. I did not think of terminating the pregnancy. I loved Jide and I wanted to have his children. It was my choice so whether he supports me or not…I will be fine.

Its been three years. Jide has only come around once in three years. He is in a relationship but he loves our girls . The last time Jide came,he told me he was marrying his girlfriend. I took it in good faith. They got married. But divorced in less than a year. Maybe the girl realized no woman can keep Jide…lol

Last year, I met someone very spectacular. We have been together and so far things are going well. He proposed and I said yes. We have done our introduction in February. But Jide was around a week later. He asked me to see him and I ended up sleeping with him.

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I feel like a mess. I know Jide will never marry me. I doubt if he will marry anyone. But I cannot ever say no to him. He charms me every time. He is my ride or die. I will do anything for him. Since then,I have been thinking maybe its not a good idea to get married to my fiance.

I have been unfaithful to him and I do not know if I can be faithful to him with Jide being in the picture as the father of my children. I do not know what to do…please advise me. I do not want to hurt anyone but my mother says for me to forget Jide,another man must be in my life.

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Is that true…if I get married…will I be able to free myself…if that is true….why did I cheat? I need some advise to help me clear my head. I appreciate no insults…I know I not in the best frame of mind…that is why I am asking for advise.

Thank you

 

Anonymous Post

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

1 COMMENT

  1. Its a simple matter in my opinion:you cannot get married cos you are not over your feelings with Jide.

    Until you can discipline yourself without the aid of anything or anyone to never fall for Jide…you cannot be with anyone else.

    Its sad that your are emotionally enslaved by a man who has no regard or respect for you. You deserve better. You said it yourself…Jide will stick to one woman..so is this the best you can aim for in life? To be a baby mama to a guy who is a community p*nis?

    My dear…put some self worth and dignity on yourself…do not live like someone in bondage cos you are not…your mind needs to be renewed.

    I pray you find the courage to emancipate yourself from this type of lifestyle.

    God bless you.

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