I Feared I Would Loose My Wife But She Held On For 13 Years!

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Dear Jzhane,

I’ve been married to my wife for nearly thirteen years now. We got married at a very young age,she was 24 and I was 27. While we were younger, our marriage was sweet. We have three children. We live in our own house and our business is doing very well.

However, for most of our marriage, I’ve been suffering from premature ejaculation. I have tried so many things:drugs,diet,etc. My wife has been supportive. She told me not to mind. But I will not lie and say this does not bother me because I know I have not been able to fulfill my obligations to my wife in terms of making sure she has a fulfilling s*x life in our marriage.

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Over the past few years, however, our marriage has really been affected because of this. I feel highly pressurized when having s*x and then frustrated when I can’t deliver. Coupled with the normal stresses of life and kids, everything is not going well.

Like  said,My wife and I have talked about this several times. I see her frustration but she always says she will manage no matter what. Because of this,I try to make her happy by buying her gifts and showing her love in other ways.

Recently,my wife fired her Driver. This Driver has been with the family for almost four years. I know Drivers have issues that can drive anyone crazy but we have managed him so far. But I returned home one day and my wife informed me that she had fired him. I was angry as she should have told me first before taking such a decision. But she said she was fed up and I finally let it do.

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A few days later,I mistakenly dialed the Driver’s number when I was trying to call someone. The Driver picked up and he greeted me. It was a bit awkward for me, so to save face,I just told him he should have done better at his job to avoid getting sack. This man then told me that my wife sacked him because he saw something he was not supposed to have seen.

I probed him until he revealed that he saw my wife and my close family friend have been sleeping together for almost 6 months. He said he was trying to advise my wife to stop the affair when my wife warned him to mind his business. He said it was my friend who convinced my wife to fire him so as not to expose them.

I asked the Driver if he was sure about the revelation,he said 100%. I then thanked him and waited for my wife to return. When she did return that evening,I confronted her with what her former Driver told me. She did not even lie,she broke down and started to cry. She knelt down and started confessing.

That she in frustration told my friend in confidence about our challenge with my pre-mature ejaculation. And in trying to be a caring friend,he lured her to have an affair with him. I was devastated upon hearing this. I was in pain,disbelief for days. My wife kept crying and asking for forgiveness. She made me realize that she had endured this situation for 13 years,she did not do this with her clear eyes.

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I hated the fact that she is making it seem like my condition made her cheat on me. I have always feared this could happen but she was always reassuring me. Why now? As for that so called friend of mine,when I confronted him,he gave a whole different story.

He said it was my wife who threw herself at him. He said,my wife was on the bridge of leaving the marriage as she said she was sure if she was the one would the problem,I would have left her. So,in his defense,he said,he wanted to save our marriage ,that was why he finally obliged her advances so that he can at least ensure that she was getting satisfied and not leave our marriage of over a decade.

I am confused at this stage. I do not know who is telling the truth between my wife and my friend. I feel totally betrayed by both of them. Stabbed in the back by the people I love and trust just because I have a condition. If you were in my shoes,what will you do? My wife has been begging and at the back of my mind,I know she has really tried but what is the guarantee that she will not do the same thing again?

I am filled with grief and pain…

Please advise me.

 

From Anonymous LS Reader

Kumasi,Ghana.

 

Photo Credit:Readers Digest

 

 

 

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2 COMMENTS

  1. Hello Sir,

    We have treated quite a few stories with similar challenges like yours. Please take some time to checkout the stories.

    I feel like you and your wife have been through alot together. 13 years of managing your condition is no joke.

    She finally betrayed you,yes….that hurts so much…that feels like your greatest night mare coming to pass..

    However,you must know that your wife loves you…and I think I believe her that she went seeking for help and fell prey to your friend.

    If she indeed threw herself at your friend,why did he not resist and report her to you or better still let her go outside to find herself another man ? I do not believe that he was trying to help save your marriage…I believe that he saw how vulnerable your wife was and he took advantage of it.

    Do not let the devil win…your marriage is worth saving…she gave you 13 years and children…that is something worth living for…

    Do not be afraid that she will stray again…she sounds like an understanding individual….she always supported you…now,its time to support her…

    My advice: both of you go see a therapist together and begin to find ways to fix your marriage…

    Is your condition is permanent one? Have you tried specialists opinion? I know that premature ejaculation can be treated or managed to an extent…do not give up looking for a solution…

    In the meantime,extend the same support your wife has given you for 13 years to her…if she betrays you a second time,then you have tried your best…but I think she has learnt her lesson.

    Its time to fix your marriage…get some help and start working on it.

    I wish you all the best.

  2. @Jzhane have said it all as for ur condition search for Husband Material on Facebook and give his herbs a trial

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