Tuesday, February 18, 2020
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I Fear For Life:Something Strange Has Taken Over My Husband

Good Morning ma,

My name is Christiana (not real name). Its nice to finally meet you. My marriage has been troubled since February this year and right now,I am about to give up. I have been married for 15 years this coming November.

Ever since my marriage,things have not been greatest but we manage. Because of our financial situation,our children live with my mother in law in Abeokuta. I try and see them every weekend or twice in a month.

I try my best to be a good wife. There has never been issues on my part in the marriage. My husband has cheated several times and he drinks. I ignore him and do my best. So far,all these years have been ok. God has been helping us.

In February this year,I cant even remember the reason for our argument. But it was so insignificant but my husband beat me. Since then,he has been beating me like 4-6 times now since February.

The first time it happened, I was so shocked. He was not even drunk. He begged me profusely after. He said he did not know what came over him. I was pained but I forgave him. In March he beat me again. In May,he beat me twice. In July he beat me. Now,last Saturday he beat me so much that my neighbors had to call the police.

Every time he finished beating me,he will start begging me to forgive him. Like truly,it seems something usually over powers him when he is doing that. Several times he left me bruised and my face swollen with pains all over my body.

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I have reported him to his family. They called him to come but he has refused to go. My family called him. We are going to see them next week. But I am so scared for my life right now. I don’t know what to do. How can I be married and leave my marriage after 25 whole years? But what if this man kills me in his rage?

I have never cheated him or insulted him before. Sometimes, I suspect that maybe one of the women he is cheating with is trying to jazz him to chase me away so that he can drive me away from my marriage and they can come in. I have prayed but words fail me. How do I pray for a man who is supposed to protect me but is hurting me?

I need help I need your advise.


Christiana (Not real name)



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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Christiana,

    Indeed,no one will hear your story and not think something is terribly wrong. How do you explain a marriage where there has never been an issue with fighting or beating before suddenly begin to beat his wife of 25 years…

    To think that he keeps saying he does not know what came over him is truly worrisome.

    Perhaps,you may be right. There maybe some lady trying to manipulate him.

    Now,my question is: what do you really want? Do you want to fight for your man and your marriage?…Violence …domestic violence can quickly get out of hand. You need to be extremely careful…..being around him when the urge to beat you starts is not good. You need to recognize it and get away from him really fast.

    If you want to save your marriage,you can do something about this.

    First: for safety,leave the house whenever he tries to start to beat you. If you feel you are not strong enough to escape his hold…you may need a temporary separation then…You can go to your mother-in-laws or your parents or a mutual friend or sibling.

    You need to be safe first. Then take this matter as a prayer project. You need to pray rightly…pray in love for Him. Pray that the evil forces overtaking his mind against you be revoked.You might need to ask a few loved ones to join you in a prayer of faith. Take time to fast too. It may take some time but have faith in God.

    You need to also help him get a mentor. Someone who can talk to him and help him get free of this evil phase of his life. The word of God can cleanse him. Find a way to help him read the word of God and spend time praying. He needs to get both spiritual and psychological help. Something is definitely the trigger for the attack.Whatever it is must be identified so that he can address it with the help of professionals.

    Do not give up on your husband. Give him time. Get help. Both of you need help. I hope the above advise helps you make your next move.

    In all,please be safe and be alive. All will be well.

    God bless you.


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