Friday, October 18, 2019
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I Did Not Marry A Saint But Did Not Bargain For His Dark Secret

Dear Jzhane,

This is the story I told you about. It happened to my friend but she is to shy to send you the story herself and her hubby being public figures and all that. Use fake names to post this.Please share her story,she will be waiting to read your responses. Thank you.

From Gloria (Friend to Sonaia)

Good afternoon house,

Please share your views on this please as I am quite confused. I have known Bode for over two decades. When we first met,we were dating other people but we clicked very fast as friends in the industry. I am an actress,Bode is an excellent Actor very well known in the industry.

Apart five years ago,myself and Bode began a romantic relationship. Even with our clashing schedules,we tried to make our relationship work. Eventually,the pressure of craft got the better of us.There were rumors of Bode messing around on set. We broke up after. But last year,we re-connected and started afresh.

Bode promised to me and I said yes. I was in love with him. I was ready to tolerate all the shenanigans of the industry as long as I am the wife at home eventually. Our wedding was  beautiful. God blessed us with a baby boy almost immediately. I was hearing of the set flirting and all but that did not bother me.

I was the wife at home. I was ok with that.  Besides,Bode is a smashing handsome guy any woman will throw her undies for without thinking. We planned for our first real vacation as a family. With my five month old baby,we traveled to Dubai. It was a beautiful family get away time.

We met some of our friends in the industry during our trip. A few even lodged in same hotel as us. One night,we all partied together but I had to leave cos of my baby. I let Bode hang with the boys. I went to sleep but woke up a few hours later. Bode was still out. I noticed my baby was running a little temperature and  I did not have any paracetamol with me.

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I called Bode hoping he can go get me some but he didn’t pick up. So I went back to the party to look for Bode. I was told by some friends that he left with another guy.I was give the guy’s room number so I went up the elevator to this guy’s room. To be honest,I did expect to see Bode with a lady in this guy’s room.

For me,that didn’t bother me,I needed to get medicine for my child. When I got to the hotel room,the door was shut,I knocked,no one answered but I heard voices. I knocked and pulled the door handle and the door opened. I went in and sure,there were people there making out and even doing some crazy things,smoking,drinking,etc

I just looked around for my husband. I needed him urgently. And then,I spotted him!!!…It didn’t register at first but when it did,all I could say was : Jesus Bode!!!…..Bode was f*cking another dude!…yes…dude…as in a guy…as in,not a woman o…a dude…a man!

I looked around and it was like a sx party going on. Everyone had partners doing sht. I saw another couple in a threesome or whatever…By this time Bode had seen me. I hurriedly left the room.I went to the hotel desk and asked them to direct me to where I could get medication for a baby.

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The rest of the night was  nightmare for me. My baby was running temperature Thank God he became fine in the morning. I was beyond emotional and irrational. I and Bode were fighting. He was trying to beg me to calm down to listen to him and all I could do was scream at him and call him a monster. He kept telling me he was not gay but just having fun…

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Fun with another man like yourself? Are you kidding me? Our vacation was cut short. I was on a  flight back home the next day.  I just could not stand the sight of Bode. Bode came back days later. I had cried my eyes out until there was no tears anymore. Bode’s explanation was that he was just experimenting. They were drunk and doing drugs and things went out of hand.

For me,I did not even know he was that kind of person. Smoking and womanizing I know but drinking and drugs ….I had never seen him like that. Bode swears he just experimented. He is willing to swear by anything that he just did a man for the first time in his life. Even if this is his first time,how do I go on with him knowing how I found him with any other man that horrible night?

I know I was marrying a womanizer…but someone who was bisexual?….This is too much for me..despite all,I love Bode like crazy but I do not know how to forgive him for hurting me like this and I do not know if he is truly like this …what if he does this again…what should I do?Please advice me.

 

Tiana

 

Lagos

 

Photo Credit:Huffingtonpost

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

1 COMMENT

  1. Hello Tiana,

    What do you really want to do? No one can take decisions for you. The choice is yours.

    Now,whether your husband is gay or not,he has gay tendencies.

    Your options are: accept him like you already accepted his flaws as a womanizer

    OR…Get him a counselor who can help him deal with his personality issues….if it was just an experiment,how will he ensure he does not do that again?

    Your marriage foundation is faulty. My recommendation would be you and your husband make up your mind to make it work. Make it work by inviting God into your lives.

    Let God cleanse you all,forgive your errors and then begin to live right for God. The womanizing,drinking ,doing drugs,cheating…all these are not God’s will for your marriage…marriage is supposed to be pure and sanctified. Seek God,both of you…and begin afresh…that is the only way to true happiness.

    Wishing you all the best.

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