Sunday, July 5, 2020
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I Broke Up My Relationship Before Realizing I Was A Side Chick


Please post anonymously. I need advice on a certain matter. About a year ago,I was in a relationship with a guy. We dated for almost 4 months but we broke up cos I thought he was cheating.

I knew he was hiding something but I could not place my hand on what it was. After we broke up,he posted picture of his wife and children on Instagram for the first time. I as shocked to find out that he was married.

That made me even more angry but we had broken up so I was like,whatever. I was single until November. I started dating someone and because I was happy,I started tagging him when I post pictures of us on social media.

That was how this married man that I dated,his wife sent DM to my new boyfriend that I am a bad person,that I dated a married man and almost wrecked her marriage. That I charmed her husband cos she knows he could never date someone like me.

When my boyfriend showed me the messages,I tried to explain but I also could not understand why this lady is bitter and trying to ruin my joy. I was not even aware that she knew of the affair between me and her husband..

My new boyfriend has broken up with me cos he says he does not want the drama. He obviously is thinking I really charmed the married man which probably he is afraid that I too may charm him.

Since these few days,I have been sad. Like what did I do to deserve this? I did not know this man was married. Why would I even date a married man. I feel so angry with this woman.

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Should I tell her that her husband deceived me? Because she hurt me without knowing the real truth of what happened. I would never be anyone’s side chick but she may go around telling people that I am a side chick.

I have a reputation which I tried to protect. This woman spreading bad things about me is not right. Please how do I change this….should I contact her and tell her the truth or should I just forget it…

I have thought of confronting her husband to tell his wife the truth but I know he may not do that…maybe he was the one who said to her that I charmed him…

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I am worried…what if this woman continues to spread this rumor…you never know who else will hear and what that could cost me.

Please post and advise.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello,

    Since you did not know this man was married,well,send the woman a message that you were not aware and apologize for any pain caused.

    I think that should do. Do not contact the man anymore. That might make things worse. If she finds out,she might think you are still trying to get her man.

    So send her that message and do not worry about her anymore. She may spread the rumors but at least you know your conscience is clear.

    Not everyone will judge you with your past…its in the past…mistake made….dont stop living in the mistake…it was not your fault but it happened…

    But the lesson learned is make sure you ask necessary questions and know someone very well before you commit to them.

    All is well.



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