I Am Not Jealous- I Only Want To Protect My Husband!

Couple talking in kitchen --- Image by © Artiga Photo/Corbis

Dear Admin,

I need advise from elderly people and those who have been married for longer period. I am married ,three years now,going to four. I love my husband. He is a good man. He works in an NGO and in church too helping to rehabilitate former drug addicts and prostitute. Its a calling for him and I admire that he loves to help people.

However,I get jealous sometimes and feel very scared when I see him with former prostitutes. I fear that some of them may try to lure him and I know he is a good man but I know some desperate women,when they see a good man showing interest in them,that could lead to something else.


The latest one that is seriously giving me concern is a 19 year old girl,who used to be a former wayward girl. This girl came to church and gave her testimony and she has been put under mentoring. I see how she lurks around my husband and I do not like it. She smiles at him like she is flirting and my husband has no idea. I have seen her and I have warned my husband who laughed and said,I should not let the devil put ideas into my head.

Last Sunday,after church,I went to visit some of our members who did not come to church so I left my husband behind in church,he was to come home when he was done with other activities he was involved with. I got home like around 3pm and met this girl from church in my house,talking with my husband. I wondered why she was there in my home. I called my husband aside to ask him and he said,she said she wanted to speak with him about something private. And she wants to know our house.

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This girl calls me aunty but I do not trust her one bit. I told him,you know how I feel about this girl and he said nothing. I left them to make lunch,served them and left for house fellowship later around 6pm and this girl was still in my living room talking to my husband. I am very upset and I think it is disrespectful that this girl came to my home and my husband even allowed her to come and they were still talking when I left.

In annoyance,I sent my husband a text on my way to the house fellowship to send the later away but when I returned,I found out that she was in my house until almost 7pm. As I write,my husband has not told me what they discussed,I usually do not ask because its like he has a duty to keep his mentees secrets. He only tells me the ones he feels comfortable with.

Ma,I am feeling unhappy about this. I know in my guts that this girl means no good. I do not know how to tell my husband. He may not have any intentions but this girl definitely has. Should I talk to this girl and warn her or should I just trust my husband to do the right thing when she tries anything…I need advise…I really am feeling a certain way and I do not know how I will react when I next I see her…please advise me..


From Kk



Photo Credit:Thyblackmen


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  1. Hello KK,

    As a woman myself,I think I understand how you feel. Most times,as women we sense danger miles apart even before the husbands have an idea of what is going on.

    My advise will be to be careful,prayerful and cautious. Now,your first duty is to cover your husband in prayers. He is doing the work of God…let God protect him.

    Also,you need to change your strategy in talking to him. Speak to him about your fears in a loving manner. And tell him to be careful,that is all…do not pressure him or make him see that you are erratic.

    Have an agreement with him that his female mentees will not be brought to your house. There are dangers in bringing people who are under rehabilitation to your home,most of them are not there yet…they could hurt you and your family…

    As for the girl involved,tell her that you do not want her to come to your place anymore without your permission. Your home is your sanctuary. You should be able to determine who and who comes and cannot come.

    Finally,see your husband’s calling and part of yours…get involved with what he is doing to try and see how he helps other people. That way,you are helping him avoid some potential pitfalls. Maybe you both can agree that you will be part of the conversations her has with the female mentees. He has to even refer some of them to you and he should under no circumstances be found alone with any female.

    It is for his protection,my prayer is that he listens to you…so talk to God to turn his heart towards you.

    Pray for him everyday…do not give up….its a high calling but God will protect you all in Jesus name.

    It is well.


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