Thursday, February 27, 2020
Home Advice I Am Lonely & Tempted : Why Is True Love Evading Me?

I Am Lonely & Tempted : Why Is True Love Evading Me?

Hello Ma’am,
Please hide my details.
I am a girl of 28 years (not real age). I was in a relationship with a guy for 5 years, We broke up 2015/2016. This is the story. I and Todd (not real name) started dating after series of begging, I didn’t love him at first but grew to love him. I just accepted just to be among boyfriend possessors. Lol.
I didn’t really pay attention to his side stuffs till we started having s*x and that was when I became conscious and observed his every move. I suspected he was cheating but didn’t have any evidence and he kept denying and assuring me all was well.
When my sister did her introduction, I prayed to God to show me a sign if he is not the one and surprisingly God answered. My sister caught him with a girl in a compromising position and told me. He denied doing that but I kept praying and then my friend stepped in. She said he doesn’t deserve me and I should leave him. This is a girl that has always been telling me to leave him and date other guys without giving me any reason.
I begged her to seduce him just to be sure because she told me she knows he is philandering but no evidence. She agreed and when she started to chat with him that was when he poured his heart to her, telling her how he has always wanted her, her big boobs and bum bum and everything. Said he wanted her desperately cos he knows she is sweeter. Said other stuffs which I can’t recall.
She forwarded their chats to my mail and I confronted him but he denied everything even when I showed him evidence he still denied saying he wasn’t serious, just wanted to sleep with her,said she is loose and bla bla bla(all excuses and stories different days).
He also said it was a set up and he wanted to show me the kind of friend I had but when I asked him to show me the chats from his phone so I would believe him he couldn’t. He wasn’t bad, just philandering. I sometimes think  of going back but then I won’t be happy. He even dated my neighbor and a distance friend.Well we broke up even though he begged for forgiveness for over a year.
I am not a bad girl, I don’t sleep around but only did because he compelled me to. I am not even social media friendly. The problem is for over 2 years now, nobody reasonable has asked me out. All the people that came my way were either married or single players or just people not up 2 my standard( like all these street chykers). Seems nobody admires me or likes me. The few that show interest loose it along the line and it usually doesn’t last more than 2 weeks.
I am not desperate and don’t act so. I am conservative. Men that come want s*x and when I say no, they back off. I haven’t had anybody to share my feelings with and it gets lonely sometimes.Let me state that I am a pretty girl from head to toe but men seems not to notice me even when I attend functions,do make up and wear nice clothes, they just abstain from me.
Now a married man came my way (the only person that acts like he loves me)and is so serious and pushing with gifts and sweet words. His family not based in the country. He doesn’t want a wife but just a lover, very nice and warm and caring. He is cute too and loaded cash wise. After my last breakup, I had told God I don’t want any player except a man that is serious and ready for marriage cos I don’t fancy jumping around. Could this be the reason why I am single?  I am tempted. Please help!!
I am a Christian and don’t want to fornicate, that is why I want a serious minded Christian guy but I only get to meet worldly men both single and married
Please summarize and post. I really need encouragement
I am a business woman and move about so its not as if I am idle or lazy.
 Please help me.
Anonymous LS Telegram Member
Photo Credit:iStock
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello dear,

    Thank you friend r reaching out to us. We appreciate you. Some of us have been in your situation at one point in time so I admire you for your courage in reaching out. All of us can learn from this.

    First of all, I think you should fight the temptation to agree for that married man.You my dear… You are beautiful and smart .The best man will come your way… Just be a little patient. Do not give into the temptation of getting involved with a married man. That has repercussions that may even transcend into your future generations.

    Don’t be eating crumbs when you can eat a whole meal.

    Secondly,Focus on the loving yourself before anyone can love you. Be happy with yourself first. Being alone does not mean you are lonely. Enjoy your life. Enjoy being you with friends and family. Find out and do God’s will for your life.

    Review the circles you find yourself in….are you going to events just to meet someone?…get involved in communities,be friendly not because you want a man…in being friendly and kind and happy and sincere,your eyes will open to see the man that deserves you and will treat you like a queen.

    Read this article,we shared it a couple of days ago…

    When you meet a new guy,let him find out that you have standards and that you are not cheap….no one finds gold on the surface…it may take a little while but it willl come….I have some of my people who found the right guy at 35,37,38,…even 42 years. I am not saying yours will be like that but please hold on….all of us have our own race to run in life…run yours cheerfully,no matter the delay and obstacles.

    I know you will get through this with your own testimony. I am praying and rooting for you.



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