Sunday, June 7, 2020
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I Am Beginning to Dislike My Wife For Her Selfishness

Dear Admin,

Please keep my identity private. My Wife is a selfish woman. I say that because she knows that I like sx alot and she is tactically denying me most times. Its either she is too tired or she complains that I need to take my bath before sx. When I try to go and take my bath,before I come back,she falls asleep.

I also like to explore during intercourse but she does not make me happy. I go down on her which she enjoys alot but she wont go down on me which I find very selfish.

We have been married for four years and I feel so happy I find a platform like yours that I can pour out my heart. I have been living in a selfish marriage for the past four years. I just keep quiet for peace sake but the truth is I am not happy about this.

Is marriage not supposed to be about compromise? If I do things to make her happy,why cant she do the same for me. She may not like it but will it kill her if she does that just to please me once in a while?

I think you as a woman should talk to other women,let them know that their husbands are human beings with feelings. Mine is hurting my feelings and I dont appreciate her anymore. I love her but her selfishness is making me dislike her. She knows I wont cheat on her and that is very selfish.

Please share this,I am looking forward to your response and the responses of other married people on this matter.



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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Kandu,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at LS.
    I appreciate your openness. Problems with sex in marriage is an issue. I think however,that with proper communication,you can resolve this.
    Your wife has not seen how much this means to you. And the only way to make her see is by proper communication.
    Talk to her in love. explain how much this means to you. You may be surprised that even though she is not into your kind of sexual exploits,she will make sacrifices now and again just cos she loves you.
    If you both have a trusted friend or counselor,speak to them to talk to your wife and counsel both of you.
    Both of you need to have a discussion on sex and what turn both of you on. Let her know that you are with her and you need her to be with you:mind,body and soul.
    Also find ways to pamper her. Make her happy alot. Wives respond better to sex when they are always happy in their marriage.
    All the best.


  2. If you say your wife is selfish how are you sure she doesn’t feel that you are equally selfish. If your wife always claim tiredness when it comes to sex it means she is probably overworking herself. How much do you help her out at home or do you just sit and watch while she does everything and then demand for sex. As for your sexual needs you need to discuss your issues with her .

  3. You are a lovely couple, your wife loves you ‘may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love’.

    Sometimes, Women need a bit of stimulating to get turned on.

    What is her love language?
    Do you call her sweetly during the day?
    Are you calm, romantic , playful and gentle with her (communication wise)?
    Do you go out on dates alone?
    Do you listen to her talk ?
    Does she enjoy your company without the pressure for s*x often?
    Do you call her per names ( not selfish 😂)?
    Do you watch a movie together, nicely curdled up,
    Do you join in and help with a fair amount of house chores daily?
    Do you take your bath every night since she likes it?

    Improve on the friendship side of things then initiate s*x and enjoy your beautiful marriage.


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