This story is the husband’s response to his wife’s admission of infidelity. If you missed the story please click here. We encourage everyone to be kind in their comments as this couple are in counseling and are going through a very tough time in their marriage. Please keep them in your prayers.
Good afternoon ma,
Thank you for helping me and my wife in this very trying times. Yesterday,my wife revealed her indiscretions which has resulted in a pregnancy with another man. To be honest,I knew she was seeing someone but I never knew she would ever get to this level.
My first reaction when she told me was shock and betrayal. I got up,told her our marriage is over,she can go meet her lover with her bastard child. I drove out of my house and kept driving ….that was when the tears began to flow. I parked in a quiet street and began to sob heavily.
I know this whole shit is my fault. Yes,I know. I admit it. I failed and betrayed my wife. I also cheated. I knew she suspected but she never confronted me. I got used to the cheating thinking I could get away with it but when I saw how I was loosing the love of my life to another man,I got a wake up call but I was too late.
After we had our son,my wife began to change. Her looks changed and she even did not have time for me. Everything was about our son. She did not look as sexy as before. At that time,I was constantly being tempted by very pretty ladies everywhere I turned. The temptation was so real.
It started as just flirting,catching my fun. I just wanted to feel young and wanted. my wife did not make me feel that way anymore. Especially when she became so anxious for a second child. She began to take fertility medication that made her look fat. I hated her for that.
I really do not know what happened to me but I lost interest in my marriage. I hoped my rejection of my wife would make her change and go back to the way we were when we first got married but even when she changed,I did not notice. I was far gone in my philandering ways. I enjoyed sex with different ladies and it seemed like fun to me.
Maybe I became a little addicted to sex too. The idea of having sex with ladies with no strings was fun to me and I did not feel guilty cos I told myself that my wife was no longer sexy so I felt justified by my behaviour.
When I noticed my wife was having an affair,I became jealous. I confirmed it by following her one day. I saw how happy she was. I did not get angry but I made up my mind to get my wife back. I began to change,hoping she would too. I became scared when she was not responding to my advances as much. She seemed surprised at my change of attitude and was suspicious of my intention.
From her behaviour,I could see she was in love with the dude who was f*cking her. I knew I had to do something fast. The past weeks,I been trying to be a good man:coming back home,playing with my child,tried making love to my wife but she seemed scared. I did not know how to tell her I knew she was also having an affair.
So yesterday when she said we needed to talk,I told her yes we need to. To make it easier for her to talk to me,I opened up to her first and confessed my sins to her. I told her I loved her and I was willing to do anything to get her back. What I was not ready to hear her say was: I am pregnant and its for someone else.
Ma,I do not know what to do. Is our marriage over? Much as I want my wife back,no sane person can allow his wife raise another man’s child in his home. That is the height of it. I made mistakes but thank God I did not get another woman pregnant. If I did,I would never have the courage to go back to my wife.
My wife told me she spoke to you and that you have been counselling her. She begged me to speak to you,I agreed and that is why I called you. I am confused ma. I love my wife but this is the height of it. I do not know how I can get past this. Is our marriage truly over? I want to hear what you and other people on your platform who may have been through a similar situation will do…
As for me: I will not accept the pregnancy. I feel so hurt and I feel so angry and lost. Maybe this marriage is really not meant to be…its beyond my hands now…Please advise me.
PS: I also want to kill this man that got her pregnant….
From Jide, Morayo’s husband (Not real names)
Photo Credit:Daily Active Kenya