Saturday, January 25, 2020
Home Advice Hubby Is Cheating On Me And Rubbing It In My Face!

Hubby Is Cheating On Me And Rubbing It In My Face!

Good afternoon ma,

As we all know..its in a man’s nature to cheat except for the fear of God. I usually tell my hubby that ” am not telling you not to cheat o….but respect me not to let me even perceive the aroma of you cheating around me not to talk of in my face”As long as you do this….we are fine.

But recently…I noticed he chats on Facebook and even on Whats app with one particular lady named “Labake (name changed to protect the individual)”. And he’s well aware I know he’s doing this.

(We are Muslims,I know he is entitled to taking another wife if he chooses but he promised not to take another wife when we just got married. Even right now,he is not financially capable of taking another wife. What I cannot stand is him cheating in my face,its like a slap in my face)

Day before yesterday…this same lady called my hubby’s phone and I let it ring and didn’t even go close to picking it nor calling hubby to come and pick his call or take the phone to him wherever he is like I would have done.

Hubby came into the room and was like my phone is ringing and you didn’t bring nor call me to come and pick my call.I was angry but kept calm and after a while I said to you expect me to bring your phone to you that your girlfriend is calling you? Am I that dumb to you?

So I told him that since he has decided to get himself a girlfriend, I think I need a boyfriend too so that the equation can be balanced. And since I haven’t been questioning him and piling him nor his phone….he shouldn’t police me too.

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I use to tell him not to let me perceive if he wants to cheat. But he’s throwing caution to d wind. I guess he’s trying to emulate his immediate elder brother who’s not married but frolics with ladies. Even while he has a fiancee and introduction is before the end of the year.

Do u know?When my second daughter was like 8 months, then we were still in the family house…hubby brought a woman to d house and in our room. Squatted her for 6 days and I heard she was even using my towel..though I traveled to see my uncle.

And his mum and family were aware and didn’t caution him. After thinking about all this….and with what he did to me day before yesterday, I decided to put that question to him

And if I shouldn’t lie to you…am tired of the union, and my ticket to leaving him I guess is when I travel out of the country. Am never coming back to him.Whenever we having issues..out of anger, we tell ourselves we regret marrying each other.

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Since day before yesterday…I have been giving him the silent treatment….am I right? Please advice your sister…note, the marriage is just 8 years with two children.

Thanks ma


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello dear,

    First of all,it might seem like its a man’s nature to cheat but not all men cheat…like you said:some have the fear of God…others not so much.

    As for your hubby,being a Muslim man gives him leverage: he is allowed to marry more than one wife. But as you said,cheating is not the way. So what can you do? when even his family does not caution him?

    Do not stoop to his level. Be the better and bigger person: your kids are watching you,dont be a bad as daddy.

    What you can do is protect yourself from potential STDs from his cheating habits. Also ignore him. Let him deal with his life the way he chooses.

    The other thing you can do is report him to your imam. Maybe they can put him right. If he wants to marry another wife,let him if not,let them school him on why he shouldn’t cheat.

    In the mean time,focus on your lovely kids. Raise them to be better human beings. Take good care of yourself…get self love…be happy irrespective.

    I know its hard to ignore but what else can you do? If you decide to walk away,would you remain single? If you remarry as a muslim,you would still meet a man who has other women in his life….

    Give it some time,pray about it…get counsel from your imam and elders. Do not take any serious decision yet until you are absolutely sure…until then,ignore him and try to live your best life.\


  2. To add to what jhzane has said, make sure you do not have anymore children with him. Look after the two that God has blessed you with. All the best!


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