How I Used S*x As A Weapon To Stop Men From Leaving Me

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Hello Jzhane,

On Saturday,you posted a screenshot on the whatsapp group about a lady who was having s*x issues with her husband. Her husband was calling her a cheat because she is quickly wet when the have intercourse.

I read with interest what everyone said concerning the woman and I feel like they were all talking about me. I learnt quite a lot but my case is slightly difference and I would like you to share my story so that people can learn that this situation in women can be caused by a lot of conditions which the woman has no control over.

In my case,when I got married,my husband was shocked. He was shocked at my level of sxual appetite. I have a very high sxual appetite. I was always horny and he could hardly satisfy me. He became alarmed and thought something was wrong. Of course,his first reaction was,this girl was a slut. She is too experienced in this matter and she must have had countless s*x partners before me.

I was not happy. My husband began to suspect me,that I would cheat if he was not there. I would pounce on him once he got back from work. I would want to go on several rounds and the poor man couldn’t keep up. He was ashamed to also tell anyone because he did not want people to think he was not ‘man’ enough to satisfy his wife. His ego was badly bruised.

Before I knew it,I became largely dependent on porn and sx toys. I was convinced something was wrong in our marriage. I regretted not having sx before marriage. I felt disadvantaged for marrying someone who couldn’t meet my s*xual needs.

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I was quite sxually active before I met my husband. But he was a decent guy and said no sx before marriage. Even though I didn’t like it,I was not going to loose a good man cause I couldn’t control my libido.

Now,here we are,very unhappy in our marriage. The height of this occurred when when day my husband called me a nympho. I was so hurt and started to cry. I cried so much,I went online and started looking for help. I googled a therapist in Lagos and I contacted her. I quickly set an appointment and met with her. We began to have counselling regularly.

It was during the counseling that I discovered that I was not an addict as I feared but that I had been raised badly and that upbringing was affecting me. How do I mean? My dad…was a chronic womanizer who left my mom. I watched my dad sleep with several women and he showed love to those women more than me or my mom. And because of that,I was hurt as a kid.

I wanted my dad to love me but he did not. I thought,if I did the same thing those women did when I get married,I will never be left by my husband. When I started having sx, (at the age of 19)  I was always afraid of men leaving me,I grew to use sx to try to keep them all the time.

Now,sx became my weapon in trying to keep my relationships. I was afraid of men leaving me. Now,I have used it so much that it has taken a serious hold of my life. This discovery was so liberating. Thankfully,my husband joined me in the counselling and we began to talk about my fears and my childhood and how it affected me. And now,he is helping me to be get help. I still have a huge sx appetite but it is getting better.

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Now,I know some people may be going through this kind of challenge. I think the best thing is to get professional help before it destroys your marriage. Because,nothing kills a marriage as fast as s*x problems and trust issues.

Couples should learn to listen to one another. Sometimes,your spouse is hurting so much that they do not even know. And because they are hurting,they are also hurting you.

The best way to solve this is not by attacking each other,it is by fighting with each other against anything that is trying to break you guys. I hope my story helps someone today. God bless you so much for the good work you are doing through lively stones.

You do not know the immense help you are bringing to so many who read from you and are so scared to open up. I hope my story and other stories can encourage more people to open up and get help.

p.S- I have been married for 8 years and going strong.

Cheers,

Oyindamola,

Lagos

Photo Credit:Essence

3 COMMENTS

  1. Hello Oyindamola,

    Thank you so much for your story. I am amazed at your strength and courage in sharing with us. I can assure you,so many will be inspired by your story.

    Indeed,if only we can listen to the emotional pains of our spouses,we will be able to help them and also help ourselves. This is deep and highly appreciated.

    I am happy you and your husband are in a good place too. Keep being a shinning light for other marriages to see.

    Don’t be a stranger..God bless you.

  2. Hi…..how do I join the WhatsApp page ….I don’t have a telegram account yet….this is my number + 233240605598…please add me…thanks

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