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How Do We Begin To Build Trust Back Into Our Marriage After This?

Hello ma,

I hope you are good. Ma,something is bothering me and I would like to share it with you.

Due to what my husband did,I think it has made me insecure,though I have forgiven him and we are happy. I trust him but not wit my all and in my idea marriage or relationship can’t work without fully trusting your partner if you want to be fine.

I need help on how to forget and trust him fully so I can have peace of mind and love him without thought.

The challenge with forgetting ma is that the woman he cheated with lives with us in the same building. She actually owns the building so even though my husband remorseful,every time I see the woman,its as if the scars are re-opened again.

I told my husband that we have to move out of the apartment so that I will not keep seeing this woman and he agreed. Its just that right now,we are not financially ok so we have to wait a little while to raise the money for a new apartment.

Until that time when we can move,how can I forget about my husband’s indiscretion with this woman. Our marriage is less than 3 years and he was cheating with this woman for over 3 months until I found out.

I love my husband and I want our marriage to work. I want I to put everything behind and trust him. I have become a butter woman especially when I watch movies where the man cheated on the wife. How do I let go and be free and happy and trust my husband completely?

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Genevieve ( LS Whatsapp Member),

From Kenya

Photo Credit:Focus On The Family

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear Genevieve,

    It is better that cheating is not allowed in a marriage: once cheating has occurred,it destroys trust and it takes a lot to rebuild that trust even if the spouse is repentant and remorseful.

    This is because,the spouse who was cheated upon will keep on second guessing and suspecting the spouse who cheated.

    Worse is when the other person who the spouse cheated with is still in the picture.

    What I can say is this: if you your husband is truly remorseful and repentant….focus son him and forget about the woman in question. Not as simple right?….well,yes but for your own peace of mind,you have to deliberately get it out of your mind…

    Anytime your mind wonders back to the cheating,bring your mind back to all the good that your husband is to you…exchange negative thoughts with positive ones.

    Your husband also has a huge role to play in getting trust back in your marriage: he needs to be a better husband. He needs to reassure you constantly.

    On your part,stop watching bitter movies or movies where cheating is glorified. Stay off such until you are sure you have completely healed. Instead,read articles that help your build your marriage. I will post some for you to read below.

    Also,do whatever you can to move out of that apartment. Start saving money with your husband,even if it means moving to a smaller apartment,give yourself a timeline to move out.

    In all,trust takes time. Be patient. Do romantic stuff with your husband…go on dates and try to rekindle the love and trust again…pray together…hold hands. Rejuvenate your s*x life.

    Ask God for courage and do not be in a hurry….keep the faith….

    If your husband agrees,both of you should see a professional therapist. That will help address the root cause of the cheating and help him with ways to avoid it.

    These days,you have relationship counselors online so there is no shame in going to meet a therapist physically,the counselling can be done online at the convenience of both of you.

    Keep working at your marriage…that is how great marriages not give up on each other especially when you are both ready to make an effort…

    I pray for a full recovery of your marriage. God bless.


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