So I just want to put it out there and be honest about how I see things to this wonderful lady that I have been seeing for almost a year now. I love her and she makes me happy. Like most girls in relationships expect,she is already nudging me about where our relationship is going…
Well,I know she is expecting marriage but the truth of the matter is,I do not believe in marriage. I also do not believe in monogamy. Shocking right? Why would I believe when all around me,all I see is marriages breaking up and people supposed to be committed cheating on their spouses.
To buttress my stand on this,I grew with a single parent. My father kept telling me and my brother how our mother betrayed him by sleeping with his best friend.On his part,he was with several women all through our growing up. He pretty much groomed me to believing you do not have to be married to be happy or successful in life.
My father and my Uncles,even some of my aunts are not married. The ones who did get married got divorced later on. I have been heart broken by girls I genuinely liked …I am good looking and doing well by myself. Maybe for some,marriage could be an option but not for me.
I been happy so far with my resolve until I met Lucy. I must be honest,I have not been exclusive with her but being with her kinda changed my life. She is smart,kind and very tender. She comes from a family that is very close. Her siblings all married ..her parents married for over 30 years.
When I met her family after 4 months of dating,I became scared. They were so good to me. Her father even asked me what my intentions were for his daughter. I couldn’t lie. I said we are just dating. He looked at me,not too impressed. I tried to stay away from Lucy after meeting her family but I could not last a week.
We been together almost a year now.I have been the happiest these few months. Its easy to love Lucy. She makes life look easy. But these days,she keeps hinting that she needs to know where our relationship is going. Or else,she needs to move on. I am scared of loosing her. She is the first woman I would be scared of loosing. I love her so much.
But every time I remember how bitter my dad was about my mom and their marriage…I freeze….should I tell Lucy the reason for my reluctance? Will she understand ad still want to be with me? I told her already about my growing up but she does not fully understand the impact this had in my life.
What should I do….tell her or what…I am not going to get married…marriage is not for me…how can I be a good husband when I already feel like this?…or what if she leave me like my mother left my husband….it would wreck me like it did all over again….this is my life…please advice me.
Kola (not real name)