How Do I Get Rid Of My Mother In-law- She Is Bad Influence


Hello Jzhane,

Things are not okay in my marriage of just 8 months and I am tired of the situation. I have been trying my best to tow the part of peace because of how young my marriage is but at this rate,I have reached my breaking point.

My husband and I courted for two and a half years and frankly speaking,I avoided his mother most of the time. Why,you may ask? My husband’s mother is a kleptomania. I am a woman of means when I met my husband. I am happy to do anything for him and his family but his mom is something else.


I noticed she would tell me lies about money alot. She would lie that she was in debt and I would gladly help her by giving her money. I also noticed things disappearing when I visited her. My money was always short and sometimes,cloth items got missing.

I made my concern known to my husband and he just dismissed it saying maybe it was the people around or I may have misplaced the items unknowingly. When we got married,mama came to live with us when I started having difficulty in my pregnancy at six months. I had to be on bed rest. My mom is not in the country so mama offered to come and take care of me.

Taking care of me meant that she had access to me in my room and other parts of the house. Soon as she came,I started noticing things missing. My money,jewelries and even food items. I became worried and I told my husband who said it must have been the maid who comes to clean and leave in the evening.  I questioned the woman and she denied everything. She even asked to quit if  I didn’t trust her.

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So one day,when mama went out,I went to her room and searched her bags. Behold,my jewelries and dollars were in her bag. I quietly left them there and went to call my husband. He asked me to calm down and wait for his return. Later that evening,my husband and I called his mother to ask her why she took (stole) all those items and my money.

Do you know that she denied taking them? She said someone must have planted it there to set her up. That did not make any sense to us as there is no one else in our home that could have done that. Even the cleaner that comes has not access to my room.

At that point,I knew I could not trust this woman again. I asked my husband to ask her to leave but he refused saying,its his mother,it would be wrong to send her away. Now,with her being around,I am no longer comfortable with her being around.

I lock up my room and asked her to stop coming into my room.That made her upset and now we both do not talk to each other. Any slight thing that happens,she starts calling me names saying I am trying to turn her son against her.

In fact,when I greet her she does not answer. She does not eat if am the one that cooks. So,I wonder what she is still doing in my home. I certainly do not want her around my children when I give birth,she will be a very bad influence on them.

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With  the tension between us and my pregnancy that has not been easy,I really do not know what to do about my mother in law. I want her out of my house but my husband says no. I really am getting to my wits end. Ignoring her is not easy. She is nosy and wants to be in our lives in every way. I would  have loved that if only I could trust her.

Please advice me,I am not happy about the situation at all.

Sarah from Nairobi


Photo Credit:Verywell family

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  1. Hello Sarah,

    Please take it very easy. You first priority should be your pregnancy. You are already having a difficult one so I would advice you avoid all forms of stress at this stage.

    As for your mother in law,avoid her. I really wish she would leave and give you some space. But if your husband refuses,you just have t be wise about it. Let him know how it affects you and the baby.

    Finally,focus on other things..don’t let anything ruin your joy.

    If she continues to take your things,don’t worry…they are just things…you will get them replaced later.

    But I agree with you,she should not be around too much when you have children…especially if it is established that she is kleptomaniac.

    Take it easy dear…this too shall pass.

  2. My dear, just like Jane rightly said, I would advice you keep your things at arms length from her. Stay away from her, talk to your husband, keep on greeting her, whether she responds or not, keep doing your thing

    Just don’t let what she does get to you. Beg your mom to come over especially now you need someone to assist you or maybe if any of your sister is not married, she can come to help cos I can tell you that when you put to bed, your mother-in-law might not lend a helping hand


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