How Do I Convince My Girlfriend To Face Her Fears?


”Look where you dey go,you fool,idiot and bum son of b*tch”….that was what I heard when I drove my  past a woman who was walking with a little boy on the side walk of my mother’s estate last year after one rainy day. That was my first introduction to Esther. She was furious because I drove a bot too close to her and she almost jumped thinking I was going to hit her.

I came down and apologized profusely to her. Actually,I was not looking,I was distracted and yes,I could have hit her. I apologized again and again until she said: e don do,I don hear. She laughed this time and I saw how beautiful she was. I greeted her and went away. I was going to my parents house to spend the weekend. My mother had complained of never seeing me since I moved out about two years ago.

The next day,being Saturday,I crossed part with the lady I met the day before and almost hit. She came to our house to fix my mother’s hair. She was a stylist in the estate and she came to our house to fix my mother’s hair. That was when she told me her name was Esther.


We got talking as she fixed my mom’s hair. I found out she was a very good at her job but she was not a literate woman. My mom liked her work but her attitude was quite bush. She was talkative and all but she fascinated me. I liked how she cracked street jokes and that made me take her number. We became friends even when I went back to my place,she and I would chat on whatsapp with her street pidgin English.

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I loved how she cracked me up with her jokes. She is a single mother and she works at a salon and tries to do home service as side hustle as well. A few months after being friends with this girl,she asked me if I had a girlfriend,I said no. I asked why,she said she liked me. I was taken aback by her statement …but she said she knows I can never like someone like her. I told her that was not true. I realized then that I liked her too and told her we should hangout.

We started hanging out almost every weekend. I mean,she is the perfect companion apart from her bad English. I encouraged her to further her education and she said she is not good academically hence she did not go to school and learnt hair styling. I have been encouraging her to give education a trial but she has not been enthusiastic about it.

I have been dating and seeing this wonderful woman for almost six months and I honestly think I am in love with her. She is sweet and sassy. Interestingly, my kind of woman. Her son,that she had when she was 19,she takes care of him like he means the world to her. I am in love with this woman but I know convincing my family about her would be very hard. Especially because she is not educated and has refused to get an education.

We are at the point in our relationship where I know I cannot break her heart if we don’t work out,she would say she told me so…  but I also know that her not being educated is going to be a major issue that will determine if we move forward with our relationship or not. How do I convince her to get an education? I am willing to assist her anyway I can but she refuses …she says school is not for her….should I just work on convincing my family to accept her the way she is,personally,I really do not mind…even though I know that my mother will think this woman has jazzed me…

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For me,this woman is different from all the women I have ever dated in my life. I know that my circle of friends will be stunned when they meet her…I work in corporate world and I know this will be a constant subject of discussion around my circle of friends…Esther on her part,speaks some English but she is nit good at it at all.

What do you think I should do?






Photo Credit:Essence

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  1. Hello Key,

    I think you should do what your heart tells you to do. This woman you claim to be in love with..what is your plan for her:marriage or just plain relationship?

    If its a casual relationship.all well and fine….but if its marriage,you need to ask yourself if you are willing to be married to someone adverse to education/

    Thankfully she has a skill…but if formal education is a thing for you…I think you should pull the breaks now..if not,I see no reason why this should be a problem…its up to you really.,,,not your parents or friends who will not be married to her…you will be married to her…

    I wish you all the best…

  2. Would you want to marry someone who is not interested in her personal growth and development?
    What are your goals, dreams and vision in life? Do you see her fitting into it?
    Will you be proud to show her around your friends and circle?
    If your office or company is having a party or get together, will you be happy and comfortable taking her along and allowing her to be herself?
    If you have dreams of being a public figure in future, will you be happy introducing her as your wife to the public?

    See, the issue is beyond your emotional feelings. After marriage is when reality will set in, then all the emotions you feel now will no longer be there. So think on this issue very well and especially on the above questions.

    It is one thing to marry someone who is not educated but has the will, desire and passion to be educated and improve on herself, it is a totally different thing to marry someone who isn’t interested in getting any form of education or investing in her personal growth and development.

    Think on it.


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