My name is Amaka (not real name). I am 42 years old. I am single and I need your advice. Being a single lady in my age is not an easy thing. There are days when I consider suicide.
I have been depressed for so long. I have tried to live a positive life. I have read many books and tried different things like joining a gym club,rotary club,etc..just to be busy so that I will not be lonely.
However,when its dark and there is no one beside me,the reality hits. I am alone. I try not to feel lonely but its hard. I have been in several relationships. Its not that men are not interested in me,alot of them are.
The problem is,the men coming for me are all married men. It seems the single men are not attracted to me.In fact,out of frustration,I dated a married man for 17 months until his wife found out and threatened me. I made up my mind to be single until a single man comes for me.
That was four years ago. Yes,4 whole years without a man in my life.
During all these times,my Auntie has called me to advice me severally to settle down with any married man or get pregnant for a married man because I am getting older. She says its better I have a child now before its too late.
Actually my Auntie said,there is something happening in my father’s family that I inherited it: They say that the women in my father’s family do not get married. The one that get married end of getting divorced.
My father’s mother,who is my grandmother was impregnated by a man who did not marry her and it was a stigma in those days,o other man came for her hand in marriage then. My Auntie,who is my father’s elder sister left her marriage and has been single for as long as I can remember.
Auntie Kk has advised me to settle down with a married man or at least have children by a married man if that is the only set of men coming for me. My mother was not married to my father. She got pregnant for him and gave birth to 3 children before she left. My father was not married when he died five years ago.
I am the most senior daughter of my father. My 2 other sisters from my father’s second baby mama are not married even though they are not as old as me. One is 36,the other is 35. The one that is 36 has children out of wedlock. Only the guys are married. My younger brothers are married. Same with my half brothers who some are not even up to 30 years.
You know as a Christian,I am struggling with the advice my Auntie gave me: how can I go and get pregnant for a married man? Is that the will of God for me? But if I don’t,will I die a sad and lonely woman that I am right now? I need advice. I have fought this thing but it seems its not my fault,it seems its a family curse or something that women in my father’s family do not get married.
Why do single men nit come for me?Even at 42,I am fine. My figure is good. I dress well and I make good money from mu job. Why is this happening to me,how do I break out of this family curse?
I do not want to die a sad and lonely woman. Please advice me. What should I do?