Good day Lively Stones,
I need advice. In fact,I need deliverance. I think something is wrong with me. Or maybe something is wrong with my fiance. My name is Franca (not real name o). I am 29 years old. I am what most men will call: pretty. I a not boasting but I look good. Having an admirer has never been my problem right from being a teenager. I have never been short of boyfriends at any time in my life.
However,after my last break up about four years ago,I realized that I wanted to settle down and so any guy who was not ready for marriage,I will not be going into a relationship with him. Of course,many have come but once I ask them if the relationship will lead to marriage,their answer will just put me off.
So around August last year,I was at work one day when a male customer came in. I work as a Customer service officer in an Automobile company. As soon as the guy stood in front of me to make inquiries,I was stunned by how good looking he was. I have never seen any man this handsome and obviously rich-looking…lol
I quickly switched on my charm and did a good customer service on him. I flirted with him. I paid compliments and before you knew it,he actually bought and paid for a very expensive car that day. He took my number and in less than a week,we went out on a date. He was a complete gentleman. I thought we were going to have s*x on the first day but he dropped me off and when I tried to kiss him,he said,no,that there is a time for that!
Can you imagine a fine,rich and single man rejecting my advances. That was a first. I have never experienced such. We dated for almost one month. The only thing he did was hold my hands. I began to suspect him. He said he was a born again christian. He was not into the s*x before marriage thing. I began to see him as a husband material. I felt God had answered my prayers.
About three months later,the relationship progressed to kissing on the cheek. I won’t lie,I wanted more. I have been sxually active since I was 15. I have no clue as to how to be celibate in a relationship. The more I was with him,the more I wanted him. But he was strict. One time,I dressed sxy to kill. I invited him over. Tried really hard to seduce him,but he resisted.
When I told my friends about him,they begin to also suspect him. They actually were the ones who first suggested that maybe he was gay. I mean,I have flashed him my boobs,I tried to do strip tease and lap dance. I even sent him a nude photo once. He just laughed…I mean,he just freaking laughed.
In December,he proposed to me and I said yes. I was happy but at the same time scared. I cannot marry someone who cannot satisfy me sxually o. I decided to take matters into my hands. I slept with someone I met at the club. I felt really horrible cheating on my fiance but I did it cos I could not control myself any longer and I wanted to see if that would change his stance on the no sx thing…I was not thinking but to me s*x is a very important part of a relationship for me. I cannot pretend about that, I am not a holier than thou kind of girl.
Later on,I asked him what would make him break up with me. I was testing him. He said nothing,that he is very sure that God told me I was his wife. I told him what if I sleep with another guy. He said that will not make any difference to him. He would still love and marry me. I looked at him ,looking for signs of him being gay…I then asked him straight….are you gay?
He laughed and laughed. He said no. He said he definitely had had sx but he just made up his mind,not to anymore until he is married. I told him I was not convinced. I asked him to have sx with me to prove it. He said no. I threw myself at him. Kissed and smooched and as soon as I tried to reach for his crotch,he pushed me away. At that point,my frustration had reached its peak.
I could no longer hold myself. I yelled at him and called him a faggot. And told him I had slept with someone cos I was darn horny and could no longer wait for marriage to have s*x with someone I was in love with. I thought my outburst would enrage him. He only looked at me and told me he is sorry. Told me he loved me and I would just have to wait for marriage. I asked him when will marriage be,he said in September. I told him I cannot wait,I threw his ring at him and left him.
To be honest. I do not know what is wrong with me or the my guy. Because,he has been begging me since that day to come back to me and I have been refusing cos I do not know any man who would marry a girl who cheated on him even before marriage. My fears have been greatly heightened. I now honestly believe he is gay.
I asked him for his former girlfriends. He has not had a girlfriend for over 8 years.Something is wrong with this guy. His family and friends all check out. They seem like nice and normal people but…Some people say I am the one something is wrong with…maybe but if you were in my shoes what will you? I know I may be wrong but what if I am right? How do I live with a husband who does not get turned on by his wife?…what if he is truly gay?
Please,what am I missing here?