Good day Admin,
I am a 42 years old woman. I have a successful career but I didnt have a husband until last last year. It was really tough when I was single especially as I began to approach late 30s. I was scared I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I didnt know why most men didnt want to marry me. We would date for a couple of months and they end up breaking up with me. So when I met Phillip,an estate agent,I was happy that he took interest in me. The only problem was that his job as a real estate agent didnt pay much. He depended alot on commissions and most times,it was difficult to make sales so he was always without money.
I didnt bother much cos I have my own money. We dated for about six months. I gave him a car. He moved into my apartment. I got pregnant shortly so we quickly organized a court weeding and traditional marriage. My marriage has not been without challenges cos I am basically the bread winner of the house. I would not complain except that,my husband has refused to find something else that would give him good money. It does seem like he is very comfortable with me taking care of him and the house. He has never spent a dime on me since dating or even now that we are married. I paid for our marriage expenses. Even gave him money to transport his people to the wedding in my village.
His attitude these days is that of entitlement. He is used to me giving him like N300k every month for his personal expenses. I have enough but I feel terrible like he is not trying hard enough. My parents are disappointed. He has never bought them anything as their in-law. And he sees nothing wrong with that. Now,when I dont give him money,he begin to shout and say he will leave the marriage if I cannot support him. He tries to blackmail saying he married me out of pity,that alot of women will die to have him. I see how other women flirt with him on socila media. There is one that even sent him nudes.
I am beginning too worry. This man is more of a parasite than a husband to me. So what am I really doing in this marriage? Yes,I was desperate to get married. But now,I have gotten married so no need for the rush again. I have a baby,so I wont be alone for the rest of my life. Perhaps,its time for me to leave this marriage and start afresh? Of course,I knew what I was getting into when I married Phillip but I never knew this was going to be permanent. My parents didnt train me in school for me to become another man’s source of income.
My parents think I should wait a little longer before leaving the marriage. They dont want tongues to start wagging. But should I really care at this stage? Over the weekend,Phillip and I got into a fight cos he asked me for N1M but I refused to give him. He needed it to buy his mother an iphone. I was like,I cannot afford it,besides,I am sure the phone is not for his mother but a side chick. If he wants to give his b*tch an iphone,then he should make the money to buy one. I won’t give him money for that. Phillip got so angry an almost became violent. He actually shoved me aside and has not spoken to me since Saturday morning.
Is it too early to file for a divorce,our marriage is barely a year,do you think he will eventually change? I am financially stable but I cannot continue to fund my husband and his bad habits. What should I do?