Sunday, June 7, 2020
Home Advice Help: Confession-How My Libido May Destroy Everything We Built

Help: Confession-How My Libido May Destroy Everything We Built

Please post this for me. I need advice quickly.

I have been married for 5 years. We are happy with kids. The only problem is that my libido is higher than my husband’s libido. We have talked about this and to be honest,my husband tries to please me by doing other s*xual acts and games.

In terms of s*x,I am actually more experienced. My husband was a virgin before me. I have had several partners before marriage. But since we love each other,we talk about this and I use toys,etc to satisfy myself.

Last month,I traveled to Lagos for a business conference. Usually,when I am in Lagos,I contract a Taxi Driver to take me around. I found a young Uber Driver when I got to the airport. We had an arrangement for him to take me around for 2 weeks.

One of the days my husband called me,I was in the taxi and he wanted to have phone s*x with me. I was conscious of the Uber guy listening but its something I also found exciting,to have another man listening to me talk dirty to my husband. I could tell it was very strange or awkward to the Uber guy.

I apologized to him,explaining to him that it was my husband I was talking to. He said no problem. Later on,he dropped me at my hotel. I got a knock on my door 20 mins later and it was the Uber guy. Before I could utter a word,he pushed me into my room and started kissing me.

In my shock,I tried to push him away. He eventually got himself an apologized for his behavior. He then said my phone s*x with hubby previously in the car gave him a hard on. I looked at the poor man,sorry for what I had done to him. I don’t know what came over me but immediately,I kissed him back and w both made passionate love.

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It was crazy but this was my first real orgasm without using toys in many years of marriage. I found this both exciting and dangerous. It occurred to me that I was just settling for ordinary sx in my marriage when I could have mind blowing sx with someone ho could satisfy me.

In my 5 years of marriage,I have managed my libido just to stay happy. But I wanted now to feel alive. I cheated on my dear husband. I did again with Uber guy one more time before I left Lagos. I just could not help myself.

Back at my base, I feel so guilty knowing what I have done. I cried and blamed myself for being so weak and allowing  my libido get a hold of my senses. I asked God to forgive me. I have been trying to put this behind me.

I wish I never met that handsome and sxy Uber guy. I wish I did not have that crazy sx phone call in his Uber. I wish I had the courage to resist him when he came to my hotel room that night.

Until last 2 days ago. Uber guy sends me nudes of his privates. I almost fainted. He sent crazy s*xts too. I blocked him after sending him a message not to ever contact me again. He then went to Facebook and sent me a friend request which I declined….

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But to be honest with you…I have not been myself. Managing with my husband has become very difficult. It seems unfair to manage. All I think of is the Uber guy and want him more and more. This has affected my relationship with my husband who has no clue what is wrong with me.

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I get easily irritated and angry at him. I cringe when he touches me now cos I feel he is not satisfying me. Even the e*x games we play have become boring to me. I love my family. I do not want my libido to destroy what we have built. But the urge to cheat to getting higher and higher.

I have played my encounter with Uber guy in my head more than a million times. I have been tempted so strongly to get on a flight and meet him for a randy time…I need help immediately…..


Anonymous LS Fan

From Port Harcourt (Poster’s Location has been protected as well)

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello madam,

    What you do need is a sex therapist or sex coach. (I have referred one to her).

    Having a high libido is not an excuse my dear. Your husband has been fantastic and supportive. He allowed you explore your sexual energies in many ways that many husbands will not support,yet you cheated.

    This must really break his heart but you need to address this one way or another. otherwise,it will indeed destroy what you have built which is a happy marriage that you described.

    Hopefully,the sex coach or therapist can help you find more ways of expressing your sexual energies within the boundaries of your marriage.

    You need to tame yourself. Temptation only grows when you feed it. Stop feeding your temptations and your urges. These feelings are temporary. Would you let a temporary situation ruin a permanent happiness?

    No marriage is perfect…what people who want to be happy do is: take their imperfect marriage and make compromises for happiness . Something has to give…someone has to sacrifice something. No one can have it all in marriage…enjoy what you have…do not blow it.


  2. When conscience battles with emotions , sometimes emotions will sent conscience on transfer. Don’t allow emotions to destroy what you laboured for years together. Be focused.


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