Tuesday, August 11, 2020
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He Engaged Me But How Do I Know If He Is Serious?

Good morning good people…

Am shattered..please advice me on what to do…

My fiance and I have talked marriage. We spoke 4 days ago but he didn’t tell me he was back in the country. Although last two weeks he said he will be in Nigeria by this time but he didn’t tell me when he finally came… He doesn’t call..

Since i got to know him i have not really felt loved.. The last time he came back he called me first , I went and refused him s*x cos am still a virgin and wants to be disvirgined appropriately by my husband..

He picked offense that if I can’t give him sex I should forget about marriage..it wasn’t easy I begged him all to avail ,I moved on… After one month he called back , later said he can cope without s*x and that 3 pastors already told him am his wife…

This time around he came back and chose not to call me.. I think he is busy with other girls.. I have begged and begged for his love but no changes at all…each time I want to move on he starts calling me frequently..

He told me he was coming back to marry me off… But he has changed to worse… What should I do?

I am thinking of moving on ever since I know him it has been pains cos no love at all from him.


The Above is as sent by an LS Whatsapp Member


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello dear,

    Your story did not provide alot of details. Like,how long have you been dating or engaged? How well do you know each other? What is your communication like? Have you talked about if you get married,are you joining him abroad? Have you started processing your papers to join him or is he relocating?When is the wedding going to take place?

    There is not much details to help us make suggestions but I would say the following:
    1. If your virginity means that much to you,please do not allow pressure make you loose it until you are ready

    2. If he is around and has not called you,that is a red flag….he has some explaining to do

    3.Have you prayed about it? What has God said about this planned marriage? Are you sure this is the man for you? Are you pressured to marry? Or you know this is the man God wants you to marry?

    4. Are you suspecting flirtation from him?

    Girl…you need to answer the questions above…if you can’t..maybe you shouldn’t be getting married yet.

    Marriage is a beautiful thing but marriage with the wrong person is worse than hell. So be careful.

    And if you feel like moving on…please move on….no pressure!

  2. I think you should forget Him.

    He is outside the country , after marriage and He gets the s.x while processing your papers which sometimes take a long time from what you have described, He will most likely have an affair until you come in.

    Before marriage a proposed spouse should treat you well . It is evident He currently has others willing to give Him what He wants at the side .


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