Sunday, May 31, 2020
Home Advice Having S*x In My Dreams For Over Ten Years: Fantasy Or Curse?

Having S*x In My Dreams For Over Ten Years: Fantasy Or Curse?

Hello LS,

I started reading articles from this blog a few months ago. I must say you guys are doing a good job. I actually want to comment on a few stories that I read on this bog cos it has something to do with me.

I read about spiritual husband or spiritual wife here.And that is when someone is experiencing delay in marriage or having s*x in the dream. I like the way you responded to those situations.

My situation is this:I have been married for almost 8 years. I have four kids. And I have been having sx in my dreams for over 10 years. So, the question is:why do people think or say if you are not married for long or you are having sx in your dream ,that means you have a spiritual husband?

I am married. Successfully married. I have children….so do I have a spiritual wife because I see me having sx in my dreams?…what I see is that I love sx. I love sx very much. I am a very sxually active man and my wife knows that.

There are wet dreams men have because of their unresolved sxual tension or desire. I think of sx all the time so I am not surprised when I see myself having s*x in my dreams. It can be embarrassing to say but that is my experience.

The women that I have sx with in my dreams,some are strangers whom I have never met. Some are like people from my past. I think its a figment of my fantasy. Everyone has sxual fantasy. If we are being honest. Mine is having s*x with multiple women and I get to fufill that fantasy in my dreams.

Also Read >>  Why Am I So Unlucky In Love - Is This My Destiny?

In most sxual fantasies, the person is able to achieve a sxual height of pleasure that one may not normally experience with a real partner. I experience my greatest s*xual heights and pleasure in my dreams.

And that even helps as it helps me not to put pressure on my wife to achieve I said…I love sx and I am very sxually active….it also helps me not to cheat…abi,its not with a real person na..can one be cheating in the dream?

I love your blog but I want us to have honest and adult conversations about this please. I am hoping to get other peoples’ view on my own situation. I am married and I have kids… and I love having s*x dreams.

Do you think I am having sx with my spiritual wives or is this me having a thrill with my sxual fantasies?


Anonymous LS Blog Fan




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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello,

    You know one thing I have learnt,one man’s reality is not another man’s reality…..and you cannot negate another man’s reality because it does not correlate with yours.

    What you interpret as fantasy…some people do not believe in fantasy. They believe in spirituality and that is based on their experience and reality.

    My take on this is: to be successful in life and in marriage, take the God given principles to guide you and do what works for you and not necessarily what works for another person.

    If you are a christian, if you have God’s spirit in you..if you are engaged in something that is not right, the spirit of God will counsel you…you will know that it is not good or God is not happy with it.

    Its like masturbation: its not written in the bible that it is a sin. But if the feeling makes you feel bad after doing it, that is God’s spirit in you telling you its not a habit that pleases God. That is why most people feel guilty after masturbation…

    Now having s*x in dreams with different people may be your fantasy…and it makes you happy….its between you and God my brother. I do not think anyone can judge you on that. I would let you and God deal with that. Its something you should address based on your relationship with God.

    To me,its like this: God said adultery is a sin right? And King David committed adultery and murder…yet God called David a man after his heart….hmm…you and I can never understand the grace God bestows on who ever he bestows grace on.

    That does not mean that if someone else commits the same sin,he will go scott free..infact..that might destroy another persona and His generation totally.

    My advise is: talk to God about this fantasy of yours…does it please Him? Does it bother Him? Maybe God does not even care….

    Another person is your wife: how does she feel about this? Does she feel like you are cheating on her with ‘spirit’ women? If she is fine with it..then its fine…but if she has a problem with it…then you have to address it.

    Don’t also forget that man is a spirit. We may never be able to understand this fully but you are more spirit than human…so if most of your s*xual activities are happening over there….maybe that is what really is happening and taking major part of your life.

    I say to people….s*x is good…but its not everything. God blessed humans with s*x but He did not intend for s*x to become a controlling factor in a man or woman’s life.Even in marriage….there should be s*xual discipline…for like when you are fasting…for like when your spouse is not around or able to provide you the kind of s*x that you want.

    I do not think people should let s*x control them…I think you should be in control of your s*xual life….

    I believe spiritual marriage is what people have termed what they have experienced when they cannot explain it physically….I believe like spiritual marriage,you can break free from any habit or bondage or fantasy that is holding you back or not making you live your best life or be the best Child of God that anyone can be.

    I believe in having healthy s*xual fantasies.

    I am not an expert on interpreting dreams but I hope my little opinion helps you or anyone else reading this.

    I am also happy to learn from anyone who has better knowledge and understanding.

    God bless you.


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