I am very sad,please advice me.
Ike and I met in the UK four years ago during our masters study. We became quite close and began dating. A year later,Ike proposed to me. In 2015,Ike and I came home to meet our families. Ike’s parents and family lives in Enugu while my parents live in Benin.
Ike’s parents didn’t like the fact that Ike has engaged a non Ibo girl for marriage. They made it quite clear that they didn’t support the idea of our engagement. My parents on the other hand are Edo state,precisely from Benin. They thought that Ike’s parents dislike for me was a good reason to discontinue the relationship. Secondly,my father insisted that he would not be giving me out in marriage except Ike’s father lead the delegation for the introduction. It was hard to convince Ike’s parents. Ike and I were very distraught with the behavior of our families. We decided to get married in court without their consent. We also got married in church later on in 2016.
My parents especially my father is no longer speaking with me. He is so disappointed in the fact that his beloved daughter would get married without his blessings. I am also very unhappy about it and I have been trying to beg him but he has ordered me never to come to his house again. He disowned me and said if I ever showed up in his house he would arrest me. Truth is,my father would definitely keep to his promise if I showed up at his house without his consent. Men from my place are usually very proud and do not take likely to disrespect from anyone even their family members. That would make him feel less like a man in the community.
On the flip side,Ike’s parents have also disowned him. At the time,we thought that going ahead to get married would change our parents mind about our marriage. But that has not been the case. Ike is very close to his mum,to be unable to talk to her is killing him. I am also sad with the situation on my side.
Six months ago,we were blessed with twins. I was unhappy for most of the pregnancy as I couldn’t share the joy of being a mother myself to my own family especially my mom. None of our parents came for the naming ceremony of our babies despite the fact that we invited them. I was really pained.
In as much as myself and my husband are happy together,sometimes,we cannot hide the feeling of sadness that comes when we think of the fact that our families are not happy with us.
Taking the counsel of our pastor,we reached out to some of our relatives on both sides to ask for our parents forgiveness. The feedback from Ike’s parents is that Ike must divorce me if they were to accept him back. That is so disheartening. I don’t know why they hate me so much. Is this how much tribalism has eaten deep into some people?
My mother sent me a text this morning,saying that she does not have anything against me but she cannot go against her husband.
Oh my God,this hurts. I don’t know what to do. Please if anyone has been in my situation before,please how did you manage it? I am very sad.