God Hates Divorce But This Marriage Is Covered In Lies & Cheating


Dear Jzhane,

I have a question to ask you and the house please. I know that as a christian,God does not like divorce. I have read many times here when you counsel people that they should stay in their marriage and work things out with their spouses. I am a strong believer of the marriage institution. I believe God created marriage to be enjoyed and I know too that marriage is a good thing.

Recently, a very dear friend of mine,who is also a good christian got entangled in a scandal in church. Her husband got involved with a young girl in church and it was really messy. I have known this couple since they got married. The husband is a great guy. I mean,they were the perfect example of a perfect couple.


I don’t want to go into details of how the husband got involved with this girl because that is not my main focus. I had to reach out to this lady cos she is my friend. She actually stopped coming to church because of the scandal. So I wanted to reach out to make sure she was doing ok.

When I called her,I tried to counsel her but she was just so quiet. I knew something was wrong. I was suspecting maybe the man was abusing her so I told her I wanted to see her. She agreed. We met in a restaurant and I persuaded her to tell me if her husband was abusing her.

This lady denied her husband was abusing her but she told me how nice the man is for even staying in their marriage. I asked her how? She then revealed to me that she was born without a vagina. I was like what do you mean? She went on to explain the condition that she had which is called Vagina Agenesis.

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That means,she does not have any reproductive organs and she has never menstruated in her life. She and her family kept the condition a secret all her life. She said she tried to commit suicide many times but she remembered her mother who said she too will commit suicide if she does.

My dear friend is a very beautiful woman. Her womanly features are very fine. It will be impossible for anyone to believe that she does not have a vagina. So I asked her,how did she marry and have a son? She confessed that the husband did not know until their wedding night. She said she thought he would leave her when he discovered her condition.

However,after the initial shock and anger,the husband who is a man of integrity agreed to stay in the marriage as long as he is allowed to meet other women. They agreed to that. Ever since their 4 years of marriage,this man has been keeping affairs and she was ok with it as long as it was kept private.

This lady also revealed that their son was actually an adopted baby. She fooled everyone with a fake pregnancy for 9 months after which she faked a delivery when she came home with an adopted baby. I sat there looking at this woman and wondering what kind of life she was living.

A life of lies and cheating. She said she feels sad for telling these lies and feels very bad when her husband is having s*x with other women but she has no choice. I asked her if her condition cannot be corrected with surgery,she said it could but her own case is very rare and the doctors say they cannot do much for her. This is so sad and discouraging…

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My question is….what kind of marriage is this woman in? She says she wants to quit the marriage now,using the scandal as an excuse to leave the marriage but she fears that she will be committing a sin  if she leaves. I am not a pastor but I told her that if she leaves,it is not a sin. But I need spiritual or bible back up for my answer.

This dear friend of mine has been very courageous. Her life has not been as perfect as I assumed. What advice do you have for her:remain in her marriage or leave? I Think she should leave cos the man is misbehaving because of her condition. Please house,what is your own contribution?




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Photo Credit:Capital FM

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  1. Hello Francis,

    This situation is crazy. But all the wrongs done so far can never make a right!

    This marriage was built on the wrong foundation: lies and deceit!

    Your friend was wrong not to tell her husband her condition before she got married…..

    They were wrong for agreeing the man can cheat because of her condition

    They are wrong for faking the pregnancy

    They are wrong for living a life of deceit…

    My only advice….they should repent and face their marriage….marriage is more companionship and fellowship and coming together to fulfill God’s purpose for them

    They can still work on their marriage and get back on the right track.

    If they will not repent and stop lying and cheating,they can go for separation….they cannot continue in sin that grace may abound.



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