Thursday, November 21, 2019
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Friendship Or Love: Which Choice Is The Best For Me?

hello ma,

Please advice me.

This is a very difficult situation for me. So my friend Peter (not real name) has a girl that he has been in a relationship with for like 2 years. This girl is fine and very warm. Very good girl right…

The problem is that Peter is a jerk. He always treats her like a jerk, still messing with other girls. I  know Peter,he has always been like that so I was shocked when this nice girl stuck with him for two years going own.

My issue now is that they have broken up one time cos of his jerkiness. That period,I thought I could shoot my shot. For three weeks,I was friendly with her. I like her and i think I am falling for her. But I couldn’t tell her.

She sees me as a very good friend but I want her for more than that. But you know the bro code: never to date your guy’s ex. So I maintained. Unfortunately,they got back together. This really hurt me and I decided to give them space. I underestimated how much I cared for her.

Now,she is always asking me what the problem is. She chats with me but I do not respond to her. One night,we sent me like over 200 messages of how my guy keeps messing up. I just sent her a response that I cannot understand why she is sticking with me when she knows who he is.

She replied cos,she does not know if anyone would ever love her. I replied that I love her. She said she knows like a brother right…I told her a lover…she was quiet. I blew her an emoji kiss. She replied with another emoji kiss. I asked her what she thinks,she says she loves me too and would break up with this my friend to be with me.

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Ma,I do not play. I love this girl. If she be with me,its for marriage. That is for sure. My only worry now is,my friend and I would never have the same friendship anymore. I mean,I have known him since secondary school days.

What should I do: should I act on my feelings for his girl and loose his friendship for ever? Or should I just let this girl go. I know Peter will never marry her sha. He is not the marrying type.

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What should I do?


Steve (Not real name)


Photo Credit:GlobalNews

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Steve,

    Agreed,your friend is a jerk but I support the bro code: never mess with your guy’s girl. That is just me.

    Also,as a lady,do not mess with your friend’s man…that’s all.

    Just stay back and watch,if they break up in future,ask for your guy’s blessing before you approach her.

    Even at that,I would still advice:its a no no… is never enough….friendship is even more important than blood some times,if you know what I mean.

    Its up to you in the end but if it were up to me,I wouldn’t let my years of friendship go over love interest.



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