Happy Weekend ma,
Please help me post. I am conflicted. I have known my fiance for exactly one year and two months. He proposed to me about three months ago. He is a great guy. I love him and we have planned our wedding for November/December this year.
Recently,he started having some challenges at work which he shared with me. I have been encouraging him and praying for him but it looks like things have gone from bad to worse. Now,he has been placed on final warning and probation if he does not meet his target.
This made him very stressed out. He works very hard and very late just trying to meet up. This has affected our relationship as I do not see him as often as I would have loved. Last week sunday,I decided to close from church early to go and spend some time with him. Sunday is the only time he rests.
On getting to his apartment which I have a key for,I noticed some smoke smell when I got to the door. I panicked,thinking something was burning and maybe he was sleeping,so I quickly opened the door even as I was shouting his name hoping to wake him up before he gets choked by the smoke.
Hmmm,…but soon as I burst in,I found my fiance lying on the floor and he was smoking something like cigarette in his hand. I was shocked and looked at him in disbelief. Now,my fiance is someone I know is a good christian. He does not smoke or drink or womanize. Seeing a stick of cigarette in his hand was like a terrible drama.
He was surprised to see me and quickly went to put out the cigarette. I asked him when did he start smoking. That was when he confessed that he used to be a chain smoker but he stopped years ago. However,he finds himself going back to smoking when he is under intense pressure like what he is going through at work.
I reacted a bit too much and it led to our argument. I told him I was disappointed he was living a secret life of smoking. It was not even ordinary cigarette,it was weed. I left angrily when he tried to even justify smoking as not a sin but a bad habit. For me,its a sin…I mean,its not like I preach holier than thou but how many sins are in the bible…must everything be in the bible.
Well,he called me to apologize later but I told him I cannot marry him if anytime he is under pressure he will go and be smoking weed. That is not the kind of man I want to be married to or to be the father of my children. Life has challenges,it does not mean we should go and do things that do not glorify God .
He promised me that he will never do that again. Well,he came to pick me for church this morning. On our way,we were stopped by FRSC men. They asked for his papers. I helped him get them from the glove compartment. That was where I saw a half smoked weed. I pretended I did not see it cos of the officials. As we drove away,I asked him why he had a half smoked weed,he said its from last time but I know he is lying.
Now,I have trust issues.I never saw this coming. It ruined my day today. I kept doubting that he has truly stopped smoking. What if he has an addiction? What if he smokes and gets high and starts to misbehave…what if this weed smoking makes him mad…I am scared and very much in doubt if I can go through marrying my fiance after what I just found out about him…
Please advice me.
Vera (Not Real Name)
Photo Credit:Medical News Today