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Entangled In Love Affair With A Married Co-worker: Please Advise.

Aisha (not real name) was some hot and beautiful lady I admired from afar in my company. She was in Business Development. Everyone talked about her kind she is and how good she is at her work. A well celebrated staff and all that. But I never spoken to her until we met at the Canteen one day.

I introduced myself and I found out what everyone said about her was true. She is such a sweet person and very beautiful. I mean I know Northern ladies especially fulani ladies are very fine but this right here is a goddess. I was so happy that day..just for talking to her o. Weeks later,she called my office for something and the call was transferred to me to attend to her.

After we spoke,I asked her if she remembered we met at the canteen. She apologized for not remembering. She asked me to meet her at lunch and I did…that was the beginning of our friendship. We became very close. Always at lunch together until the rumors started,so we had to stop meeting in the canteen and meet every day in a restaurant after work.

I fell in love. So deeply in love. Aisha makes me so happy. She spent the entire weekend with me. We went places together. She met my friends. I met her friend. Everything was cool. I knew I met my soul mate for life. In 5 months,I already proposed to her. I asked her to marry me and make me the happiest man. That was when things changed.

Aisha dropped a bomb on me: She told me she was a married woman. Aisha is married to a Northener and  they have been married for 3 years. I thought she was joking. So why is she in a relationship with me? Her husband is gay!….her husband is gay and their families forced their marriages to save face. They wanted him to have a child by Aisha.

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The man had never touched Aisha since they been married. They even live apart but their families do not know that. Aisha has her apartment. Now,I asked so many questions: like why would she agree to the marriage …she said she did not know until she married him. and the man begged her to stay for 5 years to keep his parents off his back.

So they been married 3 years. By the 5th year,they would go their separate ways. I found this arrangement very strange but I love Aisha and I told her she has to leave that marriage now. According to her,she will but she intends to keep her own side of the deal. That the guy is a good guy and she is trying to help him cos his family might disown him if he insists on living as a gay man.

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That they planned that he would set up himself by the 5th year so he would not be dependent on his family. I find this crazy.  And I was angry Aisha was married before me. Even though its a sham marriage. But my soft and sexy Aisha is someone to die for. I have decided to wait until the 5th year. Am I crazy? will it backfire?…

Please advise me. This is a secret,I cant even tell my family.


Please help.


Yusuf from Abuja


Photo Credit:Instantnewsnaija

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Yusuf,

    This is a simple matter: please un-tangle yourself from Aisha. Whether under wrong reasons or not…marriage is a sacred union and anyone defiling it is committing sin against God no matter which religion or your belief.

    If truly she is going to leave the man in 2 years time,that is not alot of time to wait…stop committing adultery with her and wait for her to be single again before you consider her.

    Its a simple matter…she told you a story…all you…that might not be the true story…whatever the truth is…you have to stop seeing her and let her be free of the marriage before you can have anything to do with her.

    I hope you do the right thing.



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