Dumped & Humiliated On My Wedding Day:The Truth, Two Years Later


Two years ago,I suffered the most tragic situation anyone could ever imagine. I dated Deyin for two and a half years before he proposed to me. I was the happiest woman. I thought everyone else was happy for me cos among my friends,I was the only one yet unmarried at the time. Ama,my friend had gotten married for about a year. But I asked her to be my chief bridesmaid as I didn’t have any other close friend who could play the chief bride’s maid role properly. And Ama was super helpful all the way. I relied on her alot during the wedding planning.

My wedding day was just the perfect one. I had even spoken to Deyin on the phone that morning. We prayed together on the phone and he said,see you at the alter. I and my mom and Ama rode in the same car to the church for my wedding. When we got to church,Deyin was not there. The groom is supposed to be in church waiting for the bride but Deyin was not there. No one told me until it was almost an hour late. They were trying to prevent me from panicking. His best man finally showed up an hour and a half later after he and Deyin didnt pick our calls. He showed up and told me that Deyin is not coming. He had changed his mind about marrying me and sent his best man to tell me he was sorry. According to his best man,they had been begging him for almost three hours before the church wedding not to do this but he refused.

So,that was how I was humiliated on the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Even Deyin’s people were in shock and surprised cos they showed up at the wedding without Deyin. I didn’t hear or see Deyin after the wedding. He went back to Lagos alone.I was in shock and depression for weeks. I was inconsolable. Everyone tried to reach Deyin but he either blocked them or changed his line. Finally,I went back to Lagos about a month later and I didn’t even bother Deyin. If someone i loved for two years is not man enough to tell me why he dumped me on my wedding day,then I will not bother him.I pushed myself into work and tried to drown every emotions into my work

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I have not dated anyone since that time. I had become another person after what happened to me. I just was not ready to go into just any relationship. I was not having any form of social life.  Apart from work,I kept a very low profile.

Last month, I went to the mall to buy a few groceries. Just as I tried to drive out,I hit the car behind me mistakenly. I came out to see the damage and beg the person I thought I hit. As I got behind,it was Deyin who was stepping out of the car. The minute I saw him,I froze. As I tried to go back to my car,he ran after me and held my legs.I started telling him to get away from me. He knelt down in the parking lot and I just got into my car and drove off. I cried all the way home. I saw my phone ringing all through that day,I knew it was Deyin so I refused to pick. He called my phone for almost one week until I blocked his line.

That was when he sent me an email.In the email,he wrote that he knows I can never forgive him but he wanted me to know that he was sorry and wanted to explain what happened. He revealed in the email that three months to our wedding,he mistakenly slept with my best friend Ama. Ama who was married at the time. According to the email,Ama came to him crying that she was unhappy in her marriage. she was going through emotional abuse. She didn’t know who to talk to cos everyone thought her life was perfect. Deyin was her shoulder to cry on. And one day they mistakenly made love and promised to put it behind them and never let it affect my upcoming wedding. But two days before my wedding,Ama found out she was pregnant. That information made him decide he couldn’t go ahead with marrying me without first telling me but he couldn’t bring himself to tell me.

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The email further reveals that after the wedding scandal,Ama aborted the baby without telling Deyin. Deyin was heartbroken and confused but he decided to move on. After the scandal,I kept a low profile. I was not even too friendly with my friends. I wanted to be left alone. So I didnt even notice anything odd with Ama. Deyin has sent me several emails asking for my forgiveness and a second chance. As much as I hate him,I have never truly loved anyone the way I loved Deyin.

What should I do? Do I give him a second chance? What about my best friend who got pregnant for him? From what Deyin said,her husband never got to find out. Can I truly forgive these two people whom I loved so much,trusted so much? I haven’t asked Ama anything. What do you think I should do about this?


Lekki Phase 1,Lagos

Photo Credit:The Praying Woman

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  1. Hello Vera,

    Forgive both of them but please move on. The betrayal of your best friend and your fiance is unimaginable!

    But take the lessons learned and move on. Not sure its a good idea to have unfaithful friends in your life.

    If truly the guy is sorry,it shouldn’t have taken him tow years to ask for your forgiveness. He could have tried to work things out without having to dump you at the alter.

    Somebody needs to tell Ama’s husband what she did though..not you though….that man has been a victim too.

    My dear,find peace in God…live happy and well…dont bother about those two

  2. Please Ms Vera, forgive, forget but give them a wide berth, know the limit to trusting people.
    Please forget what you think is ‘loving Deyin’ He does not love you.
    He came to apologise cos Ama aborted the baby shey?
    Both of them are hypocrites.
    Real love will find you soon. May God heal your heart.

  3. Yes my dearest woman, forgive Dem n move on .Thank God ,d disappointment never took u to psyschiatric hospital bcos mine almost got me mad buh with d support of my family ,I got on my feet n moved on.So if he was really sorry ,he suppose not to disappoint on d wedding day buh God knows better n I pray d rightful n bone of ur bone is on d way n I pray he shall put lots of everlasting smile on ur face ijn.

  4. Move on with your life and let Deyin remain your past. if he was truly sorry he would have found a way to tell you before the wedding. it didnt have to take him seeing you at the mall to realise he still wants you. let go of the past, forgive and find love again

  5. This is the height of it all. Please move on with your life. Forgive both of them—no need of telling your friend’s husband. If he should know, somebody else should tell him. Two, you may think you still feel something for him; aunty, I don’t think that feeling is not right. The wedding was the entrance to your marriage, and he rejected you at that level. With joy forgive him and forget him. Your real husband is so close! Don’t even cry; you have won!

  6. Someone who disappointed you on the day that was to be your happiest day wonder what he would do on trying days in the marriage he would disappear again.May you find someone who cares how you feel and would hate to hurt,humiliate you.And if not that you bumped into him by chance he would not have contacted you

  7. Hi Vera, please move on with your life. It’s easy to forgive but difficult to forget, we know. A broken almost-to-be marriage is better than a broken marriage. It was a good thing the marriage was stopped that way.
    We can never understand the mind of God. Live your life, forget him but forgive them.


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