Divorce:I Did Every Thing Under The Sun To Keep My Marriage-Pt 2

Editor’s Note:
This is the continuation of a heartbreaking story shared by a member of our whatsapp group.If you missed the story yesterday,please read it here. This is part 2.Part 3 will be released tomorrow.Please share this story and leave your kind thoughts in the comments section.
S*x was used as her negotiating weapon to force my hand to bring out any amount of money she needs.
All through 2010, Almighty God in heaven been my witness, I was paying #10,000 to my wife anytime I sleep with her. Without this money NO SHOW. If I don’t have up to that at home, I will have to beg with #5,000, she will grudgingly agree and write the balance of #5,000 down in her 40 leaves exercise book. I complained about this to our Pastor who confronted her and she said “he is the one giving me oh”.
Our Pastor now said “he gives you? Your husband? And you take it? Then you are a prostitute if you do this. Our Pastor talked to her and asked me never to give her money for s*x again. I was to suffer for not paying my own wife for s*x again.After 6 months of strictly no s*x, I could not resist her beautiful body and i gave in and released the whole money #1,5m for her trip.
Before she made that journey, her BEST friend who is a divorcee, living alone with her three kids came to me and said ” your wife is travelling with an international passport bearing another man’s name. I saw it and please don’t tell her I told you”. I was shocked, I confronted her and insisted on seeing her international passport but she hid the passport.
I ran to her parents as I wanted to know the name on her international passport but she also refused to show her parents the passport and kept insisting that she is an adult and the name on her passport is nobody’s business. Unfortunately for me I had already transferred the money she requested to her account. I insisted she will not go until I see her passport but her father begged me to let her go so we don’t have to waste the money we have paid buying tickets etc.
I respected him, accepted, without seeing the name on the passport she was travelling with, I drove my wife to the airport and she flew to Lagos with the intention of heading to Dubai the next day. Surprisingly she spent the next two weeks in Lagos doing God knows what and left for Dubai after the two weeks (so she made me believe).
After she left on the journey, her best friend came home again to check on I and the children and told me passingly that “You are a very good man, I don’t know why my friend is treating you this way. Your wife, my friend traveled with that her politician boyfriend who at this time has been married for about five years to someone else”. She spent the two weeks waiting for him in Lagos to join her so they can go together.
She also spent her two weeks stay in Dubai with him in his house but she took money for hotel accommodation for the two weeks from me. There, both of them came up with a plan that will come to alter my life, the children’s, our lives and the entire family forever. She returned back and the tension in the home became heightened. Suddenly the contract I was doing in shell was terminated, money stopped coming as it used to, and I had nothing to fall back on as all the money I made was used to finance trips abroad but I (the person making the money) never traveled even once.
Money stopped coming in and I noticed a sharp change in her. Suddenly they paid me off with #4m. I called her and told her about it and since she knew I wasn’t going to sponsor any trip abroad again, she insisted I open a business for her. We settled for a saloon. She and her younger brother came up with the idea that I rent one of the shops at her father’s house. I accepted and paid #320,000 to the father for one and half years rent for a shop in his property. I spent 3 million to equip the saloon, got 2 guys from Cotonou to braid hair and got accommodation for them.
Immediately I opened this saloon for her, my wife started planning her exit since she now has an empowerment and believe she can now stand on her own.I was totally shot out from the business and money from the business was never used to support the family at all.
At this time my adopted step daughter was already in secondary school and was supposed to resume a new term in the boarding house. My wife told me she was going to her younger brothers traditional marriage, a marriage I was not told nor invited to. She left the house with the children on a Saturday morning and did not return until Monday evening meanwhile our daughter was suppose to be back in school on Sunday.
On the Monday she came back I opened the gate and walked to the car and asked her “where are you coming from”? Instead of talking to me, she put the car in reverse and drove away with the children. I waited until 9pm and started calling to find out where they where. She was not in her family house, nor in any of her brothers or sisters houses, just not anywhere. And her phones where all switched off.
The next day morning I went to her parents house and was told they also have not seen her. Three days later the father called me and said he has been able to get her on phone that I should come. When I got to her family house, I met her and the children. They just came because her father sent for her not that they were staying there. He asked her in my presence where she is staying as she has not been home with the children for four days.
She only said he should not bother that she does not want the marriage again and just wants me to let her pack her things from the house. After telling her father and Mother what really happened I went down on my knees in the presence of her Father, Mother and her Mothers elder brother and started begging her. Immediately her father started crying. He said to her “I am your father, since I was born, I have never seen a Rivers man with all his pride kneel down to beg his wife, what ever is the problem, forgive and go back home with the children.
At this stage, I also started crying. She just looked at her father, stood up, took the children and drove away to God knows where. At this time our daughters school matron has been calling me to find out why she has not resumed. I went to the school the next day to explain everything to the matron. And asked her to call me immediately my wife brings her to school. Two days later I got home from work to find out that she has come home, packed all her belongings and everything that belongs to our children and left the house.
I was confused, her phones where all switched off. I moved immediately to tell her parents what has happened and to find out if she was there, she was not there. I spent the next three days sleeping in her family home as I could not go back home again.
A week later the matron called me that she has just brought our daughter to school and lied that we traveled, not knowing that I have told the woman every thing. Immediately I drove to the school and saw them all their. My children saw me and ran to me.Immediately, they jumped into my car and said they do not want to go with Mummy again. The matron was now begging her to go back home with me. I gave her #50,000 in the school premises still begging her thinking it will calm her, but she took the money and still refused.
After dropping our daughter she asked the children to come out of my car so they could go, but they refused insisting they will go with Daddy. She got angry, and said I should bring them to her family house the next day so she can pick them up there and she drove away.
I went home with my kids (4 years and 7 years). Had to buy new sets of cloths on the way as they had no cloths at home again. The next day Sunday she called me that I should bring the kids that she wants to take them to a birthday party. I asked the kids if they wanted to go and they said NO that they want to stay at home with me. This gave me strength and I told her that the children said they want to be home and more so they had to be in school and asked her to come back home or better still bring their school uniform so they can start school immediately and also we can all be together again.
She got angry and threatened me that she will deal with me if I don’t return the children to her.At this point, I decided I was going to keep my children with me and wait for the worst. After three weeks I went to our daughters school to visit her only to be told at the gate that I should not be allowed access again as I have no child in the school. I bribed and found my way to the principals office only to be told by her that my wife said they should not let me see the girl as I am not the father and I want to kidnap her just as I have kidnapped the other children.
I said YES, she was adopted by my wife and I but the principal said NO, she is your wife’s child. My head dropped! The principal now said “you have been a good parent even in our PTA forum, but you have been deceived for so long”. Your wife gave birth to her before she married you, and without telling you, she and her mother planed and brought her into your house as a help so that you can train her and she be close and be brought up by her own mother. I could not believe what I was hearing as this was what my wife told her that made her stop me from coming into the school.
At this point, I gave up on this woman.
The children had no uniform and cloths as she never brought their cloths back but I had to talk to their school so they started in Mufti and I had to drop them and pick them every day. It was not easy for me and my business as I had to adjust my time to be available for them.
Two weeks after, my house was attacked at night. My son woke me up that people were trying to jump into the compound and he saw them from his room window. I did not know who but I knew it was related to her, her family and brothers. I was able to put the whole compound in darkness from the power change over switch and put a call to my estate vigilante to check my compound.
A week after that incident I got a credible information that her brothers have arranged people to attack my house and take the children away from me, this was at the time when militancy was high in Port Harcourt and the father been a traditional ruler of one of the towns in full control of the militants in Port Harcourt,Ii did not take it lightly. I armed myself with everything I could lay hands on ready to protect my property, my children and myself.
My family then insisted I should leave the country. I went to our church reported every thing to my Pastors, changed all the locks to the doors and gate, sacked the security man, got tickets, locked my compound and left the country with my children.
Two months after I left the country with the children they stormed my house. I got a call from my neighbor that my wife was in my compound with armed thugs. They broke down the gate got in and when they found no one, she went to get a truck, broke the doors and started parking every thing in the house into the truck.
I immediately called her Mum and told her what I heard her daughter was doing. Her answer was “since you decided to run away with the children, let her take what she can lay her hands on, so she does not go empty handed”. At this point I lost all hope in her mother and immediately deleted her number from my phone.
I called my Mum and told her, she just told me to leave her to do what ever she likes and keep my children safe. Every thing in our three bedroom apartment and within the compound was moved out including two vehicles (A Mercedes Benz C class and a Toyota Camry) to God knows where.
I kept quiet, put the children in school and stayed back. Eight months after all my properties were removed by her, my neighbor called me again that there is a court document pasted on my gate. I told him to take it off and send it to my lawyer to explain its content. My lawyer called me to say that my wife has filed for divorce in court. I asked him to abandon it, that I was no longer coming back to Nigeria.
The case came up in court and after 1 year of continuous adjournment and me not appearing I was declared wanted by Interpol.
After a year and eight months, my family decided that I come back to defend myself based on all the lies she has said about me to people and in court. So I came back with the children. When we got home, my Son first asked me if thieves came to the house because the whole house and compound was completely empty. I only told them, “your Mummy took them”.
The next day Thursday I appeared in court with the children, immediately she saw us she called out to the children and they refused going to her holding tight to me. I was Immediately arrested in the court complex as my children were crying and shouting at the police men. My wife stood with her lawyer laughing and telling her friend who was with her “I told him I was going to deal with him”.
I was taken to a holding facility within the court premises and my children sat outside the cell crying rather than going to their Mum. After two hours, I was taken to the judge in chambers. He was very angry that I took the children out of the country but when I opened up and briefly told him what happened and all I went through till that moment, he was shocked. At that point I knew that a lot of lies have been said about me in court.
He then called in my wife and said “Madam everything you told this court about this man is not true”. She wanted to argue and he said ” I have been a judge for 35 years and I can spot a person saying the truth and the one telling a lie. God is asking me not to divorce this union, I will let both of you time in my chambers while I face other cases. I expect both of you to forgive each other for the sake of these children and I will dismiss this case”
He then asked my lawyer and her lawyer to leave us alone in his office with the children so we can sort ourselves out.
I immediately in the presence of the children got down on my knees and started begging her all over again. I was crying at this stage. She did not say a single word to me but was trying to get the children to her side. The judge came in with our lawyers and asked if we have decided to put all our differences aside and go home in peace, I said YES, and she said NO.
The case was then mentioned and adjourned on that day. I was allowed to go home with the children pending judgement. For one year and six months I …..
…To be continued tomorrow,don’t miss the concluding part!
Photo Credit:Adelove
Also Read >>  Research: More Cuddling,Not More S*x Makes A Happier Marraige
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  1. Hello Sir,

    Again,I want to thank you for sharing your story with us.

    You have touched so many lives with this story.

    And indeed,you have been through so much.

    Your kind of man is rare and out of this world.

    Many think that you were under an influence (spiritual),hence you did not know why you were going through all these.

    As we share your story,I pray that God will give you closure and comfort and that all you lost trying to save your marriage be restored back to you in Jesus name.

    I will give my detailed advice as we share the concluding part tomorrow.

    God bless.


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