Tuesday, August 11, 2020
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Can This Couple Build Their Future On This Foundation?

Good evening Ma,

Please I want to drop a story for discussion/advice.Probably you can share it to the blog/Watsapp pages

It belongs to a friend. The person she’s engaged to own a land before they met and now they are on the verge to going to the alter.

This made the groom-to-be persuaded his bride-to-be to put up with him in a 2-bedroom flat apartment owned by the guy’s father(the guy’s family stays in a separate flat but the same building) while they hustle together to build theirs before vacating the father’s house.

Now, her fear is that the landed property was bought in that guy’s name only but they are planning to join resources to build now;

She needs advice on what to do to secure her future in the marriage???? Should she agree to join her money?????

Can This Couple Build Their Future On This Foundation?

Please advice


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello,

    Several marriage counselors have said this: Never make permanent decisions in a temporary condition!

    Being engaged does not guarantee marriage. So let your friend wait until the marriage before making contributions to the building plan.

    In addition,when they get married,she should nicely ask the husband to change the name on the landed property. If he does not do that in six months,she should stop .

    Except of course,she does not mind helping her husband build his own house.

    There is no sentiment in this even though its a very sensitive matter. When buying even properties and cars or doing business in marriage,it should NEVER be in one spouse name when both parties contributed to the purchase of the property or car.

    Wisdom,diplomacy and emotional intelligence is required in this matter. Let her state her case nicely but firmly. It does not mean she does not love him but she needs to look out for her future as well.

    God bless.

  2. The truth is, as long as the land documents is in the man’s name, whatever they build on the land belong to the man.
    The only options left for her are;

    1. If they get married in the registry and have a valid marriage certificate recognized by law, then she has a little protection. Otherwise, she will loose whatever she contributes to the building.

    2. Her name should be included in the land documents. Her name should be written in full, not as only “Mrs” then the man’s name. Example, if her name is Jennifer and her husband’s name is john, it be written as Mrs. Jennifer John and not as Mrs. John only. Anyone can be Mrs. John.

    Further more, she should document whatever she spend in the building and if possible have evidence of all she spent in the building in case of any eventuality.

    The reason for all this is not because she doesn’t trust her husband or she expect anything bad in future. It is just for her protection, because we see situations like this happening all the time.


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