Be Careful Who You Pray For in a Spouse -Relationship Help!


“I prayed for a husband, and God answered my prayer.” I hear it all the time from married women; however, their tone of voice isn’t as gleeful as you might imagine. They prayed for a man who will love and adore them, yet they get annoyed when he wants to show affection and be close 24/7. They call this type of man “needy.” What we fail to realize is that when we pray, God has his own agenda in meeting our needs. As such, it’s really important to be careful who you pray for in a spouse.

They prayed for a man who is a good father, even to another man’s child, yet they complain that he doesn’t discipline the children like they do. This type of guy isn’t “nurturing” enough. I’ve spoken to women who have prayed for a man who provides for the family and works a stable job, yet they complain that he works too much. This type of man isn’t “family-oriented.”

The Prayer


I know firsthand about this. I prayed for my husband to be a loyal, hard-working, family man who loves God, loves me, and loves his children. Who knew that God would answer my prayer by calling my husband into the pastorate. Oh, he loves God alright. So much so he has committed his life to helping other people love God, too. I got who I prayed for, with a church to go along with it.

Nevertheless, I’ve grown to see the blessing in my answered prayer, along with the daunting task of ministry. One of those blessings is the opportunity to encourage others to pray for their future or present spouse. The prayer, however, is just the beginning. The real work comes in when you have to accept the answered prayer in whatever form God decides to deliver it.

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God’s Perspective

When God answers your prayer for a spouse and you marry the person He sends to you (not somebody of your own choosing), don’t expect that person to perfect, although the answer to your prayer is perfect.

Did you get that?

The answer to your prayer is always perfect even though your spouse isn’t. God knows what He is doing when He puts a husband and wife together. And part of what He is doing is maturing you.

A Woman’s Perspective

Ladies, if you pray for a husband who helps with the kids and housework, then you have to learn how to bite your tongue when he picks out mismatched clothes for the kids or cleans the kitchen without sweeping the floor.

The answer to your prayer is always perfect even though your spouse isn’t.

If you pray for a husband who respects your opinion and views marriage as a partnership, then don’t get an attitude and pressure him to “just make a decision” when he would rather talk it through with you. If you pray for a husband who is financially stable and a good provider, then you will need to joyfully submit to him when he makes decisions about money that limit your spending.

A Man’s Perspective

Men have to be careful who they pray for, too. Brothers, if you pray for a wife who takes care of herself and enjoys looking nice for you, then refrain from snide comments when you see a new box of shoes miraculously appear in the closet or when she returns from the beauty salon.

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If you pray for a wife who is strong, independent and opinionated, then don’t get upset because she speaks her mind or takes on an extra project at work. Furthermore, if you pray for a wife who is supportive of your goals and wants the very best for you, then listen to her when she offers advice; God has given her some wisdom just for you.

Be Careful Who You Pray For

Now, I know we need to do all things in moderation, and sometimes we must speak up when our spouse is not doing his/her part in the marriage. However, speaking up is different from complaining and whining about the husband or wife you prayed for. The main point is this: Be careful who you pray for because God does answer prayers, but He probably won’t answer them in the way you are expecting.





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