Tamar Braxton’s Nigerian boyfriend, David Adefeso has disclosed how broken he met the American singer and reality star when they started dating 12-months ago.
In a lengthy post he shared on social media, David said that he inherited an ‘angry, distraught and almost-completely broken’ Tamar but still followed through with the relationship.
He noted that the causes of her state at that time were because she was being ‘repeatedly assaulted by men in her life she trusted. ” First physically as a child, then emotionally later on in life by deeply aggressive and utterly controlling romantic relationships”
David also revealed that Tamar’s anger has been replaced with joy, and she is finally back to her normal self.
When I met my @tamarbraxton 12 months ago she was angry, distraught and almost-completely broken. She’d lost her family, her friends, her job and was estranged from her mom and sisters who she loves so much. While her behavior was a significant cause of these misfortunes, it took me a while to recognize that there were other equally valid causes, including being repeatedly assaulted by men in her life she trusted (first physically as a child, then emotionally later on in life by deeply aggressive and utterly controlling romantic relationships); finally culminating in the continuing psychological damage brought on by working on a TV show she feels utterly shackled to due to contract terms. ‘
This is what I inherited so I had a choice: to continue the emotional and psychological abuse she had endured for almost 3 decades by being aggressively controlling and manipulative or to be a kind, gentle and loving friend and lover to the woman I love- Well, I chose the latter, and the results have been outstanding!
With few exceptions the anger has been replaced by joy, the despair has morphed into a need to help the abused (check out #NoNeedTBShame), and the kind, gentle, beautiful and self-assured woman that is my @tamarbraxton is now on full display (check out our social media activities over the past 3 months since the show was shot and see the new Tamar)!
A word to our strong black men who are in relationships with our beautiful black women- when you make a commitment to love that sista, it is your duty and responsibility to STAND BY YOUR WOMAN. PERIOD!
Irrespective of wealth, power or fame, many of our women have endured the same challenges that my Tamar has, including physical and emotional abuse, endemic marginalization, controlling romantic relationships and desertion by black men. Some of what many have condescendingly coined as #AngryBlackWoman is simply a reflection of, and reaction to, the life experiences of our beautiful black women.
So, gentlemen, we DO NOT abandon our sistas when things get tough, and especially when they need us the most. We love them through it, we support them through it, and we protect them through it!
Here is Tamar’s appreciation post to him for being there for her.
My David. There are no words. Just like the day we met. I’m completely speechless. I’m at our home waiting for you to walk through the door to greet MY KING the way her Queen should.
I’ve never known a man to love me AND my scars!! I’ve never even heard of that before. I appreciate your Patience as I continue to work on myself To be better not only for myself and beans but for YOU!! You are worth leaving my painful, self-righteous, self-absorbed, attention seeking, sometimes Pathetic past behind. Which is hard because pain, having it or causing it has become comfortable because I only knew the pain.
Now I know true love and I’m working really hard to replace that painful “fulfillment” with your unconditional Love and support. There is no way that I would EVER lose you because I’m too busy STUCK in being me!! U have helped change me for the better and see things from other people’s perspective.
Only a TRUE man of God and who is sent BY God could love a pile of mess because he only sees a pile of Gold. I love you with my entire heart. And because you won’t give up on me. I won’t either -your Tamar