Good Morning Ma,
I want to thank you specially for the good work God is using you to do on your blog. How you are helping people with problems,the godly advice that you give. I applaud your consistency. I dont know whether anybody is paying you but I want to tell you that God will reward you abundantly.
So I read one of your stories last two weeks where a woman is married to a man that is sick for almost three years and she wants to leave the marriage. I cried when I read that because I am also in that same situation. All the responses people are giving,they really encouraged me. But I decided to write cos some people dont seem to understand how hard it is. You cannot imagine the trauma a woman who is married to a vegetable is facing.
I got married about five years ago. I was pregnant with my first child when me,my husband and two other people were travelling to the East for Christmas had an accident. My husband was the one driving. One person died,the other person sustained serious injury,my husband to was seriously injured. He was in coma for almost two months. I even though I was seven months pregnant,my injuries did not affect the pregnancy. I was put in intensive care though for one month cos they feared I would go into after shock and maybe loose the baby. But God was faithful,I had a CS on the eight month. God gave us a healthy baby boy,we called him Chukwuegbuka.
But my husband was not so successful, The accident left him in the hospital for the next one year. He was at the time completely paralysed from his waist down. He couldn’t use his legs,he couldnt stand or sit by himself. He would poo and pee on one spot. It was very difficult for us. After a year,he was discharged for us to go and manage him from home. That was three and half years ago. Since then,my husband has progressed from being in a wheel chair to using a walker but the sad part is,he does not have any stamina for intercourse. He can cuddle me,we kiss and all but thats all. I know many people will say I should be grateful for this but the truth is,its the hardest thing I ever faced in my life.
I havent been with any man. I have urges. I cry every day. My husband too feels frustrated about his condition. Sometimes he goes into depression. We talk about this and my husband has even given me go ahead to sleep with any man I choose as long as I use protection. But my heart cannot do it. We are Christians. I cannot betray him. I feel like he is saying that to make me happy but if I actually do it, it would break his heart totally.
Ma,I read all the comments to the other lady,some telling her to be patient,that God is testing her,etc..I mean,that is good but the truth is,at the end of the day,we are humans. And I will not blame her if she goes to find a man to sleep with her. Even my family has held a meeting and decided that I move on. The doctors have said that my husband will not even be able to father another child, the accident made him impotent. He can never be able to make love to me or any other woman for the rest of his life. I am 26 years old. Is this what I will endure for the rest of my life?
Every day I cry,every day I ask God why..sometimes,I am angry with my husband. I curse the day I met him but I look at my son and I am again thankful. Your readers may give me the same advice that they gave the other woman. But I want us to be all truthful. Look at the situation again,this time very objectively,putting yourselves in our shoes. If it was you,what would you really do?
More importantly,since my husband has given me go ahead to meet with other men,do you think I should go ahead? Surely,wont even God understand? Please help me answer these two major questions. For now,I am trying,but I dont know what tomorrow may bring. I dont know how much longer I can stay strong.
Your advises are most welcome. Please dont judge me,try to put yourself in my shoes first…God bless.
This story came to us a few days ago and its so heart breaking that we have been struggling with posting it cos the advice to give this young woman is the hardest….we cannot begin to imagine..but please drop your comments.we appreciate them
Photo Credits: acookingpotandtwistedtales